Sunday, November 14, 2010
Happy Birthday My Rainbow!
(Photo courtesy of Simplicity by Christy)
This afternoon, at the exact time my third daughter entered the world four years ago, I turned and looked over my shoulder at her.
She was sleeping peacefully in her car seat after a busy weekend in Tuscaloosa. A far cry (pardon the pun) from how she entered the world. She had given her lungs a full workout during her introduction to that bright hospital room, and we knew she was okay.
On November 14th of that year, God gave me a second chance to be a mother - a chance I never thought possible after Melissa died. The thought of being pregnant again terrified me after all I had gone through with Melissa and Ann Catherine. Chris and I knew that we wanted Ann Catherine to have a sibling, but I wanted to adopt instead.
Then I did something that changed everything for me. I turned it over to God. Truly turned it over. I prayed that God would allow a child - boy, girl, didn't matter- to find its way to our family. I didn't care how. I didn't lay out my wishes or plans. I just asked that he would allow a beautiful soul to find its way to us.
A month after praying that prayer - and really meaning it - we found out that we were pregnant with Lily Baker.
And I was scared to death.
For the first six months of that pregnancy, I battled fear and was constantly waiting on the worst to happen. Just as it had to Melissa. Over the course of those nine months, God took me on a journey of faith like I had never experienced before.
And right on time, Lily Baker arrived. Beautiful - and most importantly - healthy. We never stepped foot inside the NICU. Instead, she stayed next to me in my hospital room. I couldn't believe it was happening. The child we had prayed so fervently for was here. And she was okay.
What would our life have been like without Lily Baker? I can't even imagine. She is the most precious and most maddening person I've ever known. Her world is so black and white, unlike mine which resides in shades of gray. She can be so stubborn that I want to scream and so sweet that it melts my heart.
But there is one thing I know without question about this little girl: she loves her mama. And oh boy, do I love her.
She is the rainbow that completed our family, the sunlight that overcame the darkness that had enveloped our family just 17 months earlier. She is the sister Ann Catherine so desparately needed and the healing her daddy and I so desperately prayed for.
Happy Birthday my Lilypalooza! I love you to the moon and back,