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Thursday, September 24, 2009

He Never Sleeps

I want to share something with you all. And since my post includes the word "sleep" I wanted to share this picture, too.

AC's class is studying the letter "p" this week. So today they had a pajama party and picnic. How cool is that? AC was beside herself about wearing PJs to school and carrying her own lunch. Here she is:

Now onto the real reason for my post. I am currently doing an Beth Moore Bible study called Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent. It's an amazing Bible study that focuses on Psalms 120-134, otherwise known as the Psalms of Ascent.

Last week, we focused on Psalms 121. Here is the New International Version (NIV):

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
The LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

As I was reading it last week and doing my homework, these two verses just jumped out at me:

he who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep

Then I had this "a-ha moment" with God.

I thought back to when Melissa died. Night time was, by far, the worst. I hated going to sleep at night, because when everyone went to sleep and the house was quiet, I would think about her. And the grief felt like it was more than I could bear.

I would see her sweet, angel face. I would re-live every moment of her death. I would remember holding her for the last time. I would hear a song in my mind that made me think of her. I would wonder why in the world this happened to us.

And I would sob. I mean intense, painful, heartbreaking sobs.

It was so incredibly painful. I would just wake up crying and Chris would hold me. I couldn't sleep because each time I closed my eyes, I saw her. I'm telling you, it was a hard and horrible time for me.

As I was reading this particular verse last week, God said to me:

"Amy, remember all of those nights that you didn't sleep? I didn't sleep either."

Oh my.

I just began to cry. I thought back to all of those sleepless, painful nights and I realized that when I didn't sleep, He didn't either. He was right there with me.

It's not exactly news to me that God doesn't sleep. He is God, after all. It's not like he needs a power nap here and there.

But, I had never really thought about it. Just think about when we are going through rough times. When are they often the hardest?

At night.

We toss and turn, we cry, we wonder what's going on and we worry. The house is quiet, everyone is sleeping, but we are filled with pain and dread.

You know what? On those restless nights where you toss and turn, thinking "Why me God?" or "Why is this happening?" and you just are full of hurt and worry, guess what?

God isn't sleeping either.

Isn't that the most comforting thought?! This most powerful God doesn't need a nap. He is with us.


Even in the middle of the night when we are at our darkest.

As God showed this to me last week, I just thanked Him. When I was at my darkest and absolute lowest, He wasn't off somewhere getting his rest. He was with me. And I wanted to share it because I hope it gives comfort and hope to those of you who are going or have been through a tragedy.

When tragedy hits, night time is so hard. And when you are lying in bed at night crying/worrying/hurting, God is there.

He never sleeps.


Stephanie T said...

How beautiful and how true! I still dread nights sometimes. How simple, yet so hard, to rely on our faith that HE is always there for whatever we may need! I'm still working on that one :)

Hillary @ The Other Mama said...

Beautifully written from an amazing perspective. I am so thankful for a God who cares. Isn't that awesome?
I have never thought about it that way and LOVE it!! Thank you!!

Love my 2 BoYs! said...

Great post, thanks for sharing!!