We were driving down the road today and Ann Catherine said, "Mommy, there's Melissa!"
You could only imagine how my heart skipped a beat.
I turned around and said, "What, baby?" She was looking out the window and pointing towards the sky. I realized what she was saying. We tell her that Melissa is in Heaven and she was pointing to Heaven. She was telling me that Melissa was there.
Then all of a sudden she said, "Mommy, she's not there! I can't see her!"
I explained to her that we can't actually see Heaven. I told her it was way up in the sky and although it's real, we can't see it from here.
The explanation must have been enough for her because she didn't say anything else. I, on the other hand, began thinking. It must be so hard for a 3-year-old to understand that there's this beautiful little girl in a place called Heaven, but we can't see her yet. That we have this "unseen angel" who is so incredibly important to our family. Who is part of this family.
I want to always be honest with Ann Catherine about Melissa. The hard part is knowing the right words to say. I just feel so ill-equipped sometimes to answer her questions.
I am so grateful that God is helping us navigate this hard road. And I'm so grateful to my friend, Lesli, who encouraged me to talk about Melissa and to say her name to my daughters.
I admit I don't have all of the answers, but that's okay. God does, and I know he will continue to give us the words to say.