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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Our Unseen Angel

We were driving down the road today and Ann Catherine said, "Mommy, there's Melissa!"

You could only imagine how my heart skipped a beat.

I turned around and said, "What, baby?" She was looking out the window and pointing towards the sky. I realized what she was saying. We tell her that Melissa is in Heaven and she was pointing to Heaven. She was telling me that Melissa was there.

Then all of a sudden she said, "Mommy, she's not there! I can't see her!"

I explained to her that we can't actually see Heaven. I told her it was way up in the sky and although it's real, we can't see it from here.

The explanation must have been enough for her because she didn't say anything else. I, on the other hand, began thinking. It must be so hard for a 3-year-old to understand that there's this beautiful little girl in a place called Heaven, but we can't see her yet. That we have this "unseen angel" who is so incredibly important to our family. Who is part of this family.

I want to always be honest with Ann Catherine about Melissa. The hard part is knowing the right words to say. I just feel so ill-equipped sometimes to answer her questions.

I am so grateful that God is helping us navigate this hard road. And I'm so grateful to my friend, Lesli, who encouraged me to talk about Melissa and to say her name to my daughters.

I admit I don't have all of the answers, but that's okay. God does, and I know he will continue to give us the words to say.

3 comments:

Abby & Livvy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephanie T said...

Takes your breath away doesn't it?? We've always told Abby that the stars were really openings in Heaven where our loved ones could look down and "wink" at us to let us know they are happy. Most clear nights, she will look up and "find" Baby Sissy and wave or tell her something that happened that day.

Abby has reminded us for the last 11 months that Olivia is a special part of our family, and even though the sting is still there, I'm so glad we chose to talk openly with her! Her latest concern is whether God will throw just the right birthday party for her for her first birthday coming up! I assured her He would, and we are already planning to borrow your balloon tradition and let some balloons go to Olivia to help decorate for the party!

God has a special way of keeping everything in persepctive for me. Some days it comes from the lips of my 4 year old - amazing!

Great to see you last week!

Amy George said...

Stephanie,
I am so glad you are going to do the balloon release. I think it will be a wonderful way to remember Olivia. I'll be thinking of you as her birthday approaches.

Amy