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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

How Many Children Do You Have?

Here is my column from the current issue of Valley Babies Magazine. The idea came to me from talking to other moms who had lost children. We all agreed that such a simple question is not so simple when you have lost a child. To read it, click here.

I have thought of Melissa so often lately as Mother's Day, my birthday and her birthday approaches. Please pray that God will continue to give us strength. I can't believe it's almost been four years now. I miss her every day and will for the rest of my life. I am grateful for the love she sends to me everyday through her beautiful spirit and I am most grateful for her two sisters who have given me more love than I ever thought possible. What a gift to be the mother of these three amazing little girls.


Melissa said...

When I read this article in the Valley Baby a couple of weeks ago, I cried. I have feel exactly the same way. It was hardest for me when I was pregnant with Camden. It is such an innocent question, but it always makes me cringe, for the same reasons you listed. I see you got a triple whammy as well, as far as birthdays & holidays. Carsyn's birthday, my birthday, my mom's birthday & Christmas are all within 2 weeks of one another. It is incredibily hard dealing with all of those things at once. You have my sympathy as an equally hard holiday, Mother's Day, rolls around. Thanks again for another great post.

BethE said...

My answer is usually, "I have a daughter at home and a son in heaven." Sometimes I just say, "I have two." And leave it there... if they are just making polite conversation they usually leave it at that... if they ask more, I'll tell them. I've only answered, "Just one," once and I felt so guilty I don't think I'll ever do it again.
This is something discussed a LOT within my support groups. It is SUCH a hard question when it should be just so simple. There are so many things unfair about losing a child and many that you wouldn't think of... like answering a silly question!

Stephanie T said...

Isn't it amazing how the smallest, unpredictable things can bring back both the most unthinkable grief and the most undescribeable hope all at the same time?? I have responded to this question many different ways. Each time I think of it, I try to come up with a "line" to be more prepared. I've come to realize that sometimes maybe God means for me to share our precious story, and sometimes He doesn't. Like all things in life, the trick is being led by Him! Thanks for the post! Unless you've been on our journey, it's something you would never even consider!

Love my 2 BoYs! said...

I can't even begin to imagine what this journey has been like for you and your family over these past 4 years. I pray that God will continue to give you the strength that you need to make it through. Just rely on your strong faith that reassures you that you will get to be with all 3 girls together someday. You have and continue to do such a great job sharing your story with others and Im sure have helped so many through the very same journey that you and Chris experienced.I know that Mothers Day and birthdays have to be so hard, I will pray for you Amy... Thanks for all your prayers as well! Its 1:30 a.m. and Im on the computer b/c I cant sleep, Chad and I had a long talk tonight regarding our struggles, and I have to say, I think Im letting myself get depressed, just cant do that, have to much to be thankful for!! Sorry for going on and on. Thanks for being such a great blogger friend!!


Suzanne M. Colbath said...

All I can say is "Thank You".