June 1st

June 1st is the birthday of two very special little girls.

One is celebrating her birthday with us here on Earth. The other is celebrating in Heaven with the angels. But they are loved just the same.

Melissa Suzanne and Ann Catherine entered the world two years ago today. Melissa was born at 6:18 a.m. and Ann Catherine followed one minute later at 6:19 a.m. Melissa passed away almost two and a half hours later.

I miss her so much today. I really do. While Chris and Ann Catherine were at the grocery store this morning, I had my time to remember her and cry. You would think after two years it wouldn't hurt so bad, but it does.

At the same time, I made a decision a long time ago that June 1st wasn't going to be a sad day. That's not fair to Ann Catherine. It's her birthday. Children are supposed to enjoy their birthdays. I don't want her growing up dreading her birthday because June 1st makes mommy sad.

So for me, there will always be an element of sadness to June 1st. After all, that's the day we had to say goodbye to Melissa.

But we also received a beautiful gift on June 1st. God gave us Ann Catherine. And even though she came to us under tragic circumstances, she gave us a reason to keep going after Melissa died.

In my post yesterday, I told you Chris and I were taking the day off today and taking Ann Catherine to the park to have a picnic and feed the ducks. We had a great time! Ann Catherine loved feeding the ducks. In fact, she wanted to get in the water with them! Chris and I had to literally hold her back. She ran her little legs off. When it was time to leave, she just cried saying, "Duckies, duckies!" Chris and I promised to bring her back. I have posted a picture from our day. Ann Catherine was in such constant motion, it was hard to snap a picture!

Today was good for us. Of course, Ann Catherine had a wonderful time. But it was also good for me and Chris. We needed it. We needed to be reminded of all the good that came out of June 1st.

Yes, June 1st, 2005, was an incredibly sad day. Yes, it changed our lives forever. And I would never want to relive the pain of that day.

But June 1st also gave us two of the greatest gifts we could ever ask for. It gave us Ann Catherine and Melissa.

And that's what we have to remember.