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Friday, June 26, 2009

Lilypalooza, My Rainbow


Today I picked up Lily's coffee table book. Kristin Farnsworth, with Whispers Photography, has taken my girls' pictures since they were born and she does a coffee table book of their first two years. They are one of my most prized possessions!

I picked up Lily's today and couldn't be happier. Kristin lets you choose favorite quotes or scriptures and she includes them in the books. When I was coming up with verses that reflect my feelings for Lily, I came up with about 4 and Kristin used all of them. But there are two in the book that mean the most to me.

"I will put my rainbow in the clouds to be a sign of my promise..." Genesis 9:13

I call Lily my rainbow. Just as God sent the rainbow to promise Noah he would never flood the Earth again, he sent Lily, our rainbow, to us as a promise. This promise was that something good, pure and beautiful could come out of so much tragedy and heartache. As I have always said, Lily is not a replacement for Melissa, but she is a beautiful completion of our family. She is God's promise that all wasn't lost. She is God's promise that I would be able to laugh and love again. She is God's promise that you can survive one of the most painful loses imaginable.

She is my rainbow.

The other verse is this: "Since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you..." Colossians 1:9

My, how we prayed when we learned we were pregnant with Lily. To say we were scared was an understatement. My first pregnancy with Melissa and Ann Catherine was not an easy one and the outcome was not what we had imagined. Therefore, although I wanted Ann Catherine to have a sibling one day, I never wanted to be pregnant again. In fact, I had begun looking into adoption when we learned we were pregnant with Lily. I believe that God allowed us to become pregnant with her so we could truly learn what it means to trust him. We knew all of the bad things that could happen during a pregnancy because, unfortunately, many of those things had happened to us with AC and Melissa. So for nine months we had to completely rely on God and his will for our lives. While I was pregnant, I prayed constantly that God would allow Lily to live and that he would allow us to have the happy outcome we so desperately wanted. He answered that prayer. And I am eternally grateful.

Lily's mere presence has brought so much joy into our lives. Thank you God for sending the rainbow.

4 comments:

Stephanie T said...

Amy,

This post is so special to me! You sent me an email on this very topic just after I shared with you that I was expecting again (Actually I think you knew before my own mother!!). I remember thinking then that I wasn't sure I would actually have my own rainbow. Now we have our little Ellie Kate! The sun shines so much brighter after the rain. In no way does it lesson the pain and agonizing grief of losing a child, but what tangible proof of God's love for us and His promise to never forsake us!

"Allie Play" said...

Hey Amy! It has been a while since I have seen your blog. Wow your girls have gone. I have a 1 1/2 year old girl. Check out our blog.
Hugs-
Tashia Wales Lovell

Hillary @ The Other Mama said...

That is so precious and special. I love the idea of the books and especially of the verses just for her! You will always treasure those!

Love my 2 BoYs! said...

missed you lately... hope all is well!!

~Jennifer