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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Losing a Child

Like so many of you, I have hurt this week for the family of Rick Burgess, with the Rick and Bubba Show.

I don't know him personally and have never met him. But I share a bond with him. We have both had to say goodbye to our child.

Whenever I hear of someone else losing a child, it opens so many wounds. The death of your child changes you forever. You are no longer the person you were before he or she died. It's as if there are two worlds: the one before they died, and the one after.

I have prayed for Rick and his family repeatedly this week. I hurt and ache for his wife. There is something so completely unnatural about carrying a child, and then having to tell them goodbye. Unless you have held your child as they take their last breath on this Earth, you can't possibly understand the pain. You can sympathize, but you can't truly understand the hurt, the grief, the pain, the despair.

But the thing that has amazed me this week, is the strength this family has shown. I listened to Rick's message at his son's memorial service, and he's right. That was God speaking. A parent who has lost a child could never do that.

Chris and I are living proof that God can take a horrible and tragic situation and turn it into something positive. Every time I walk into the NICU at Huntsville Hospital and see those precious, tiny babies laying in beds that were purchased by donations to Melissa's Fund, I am overwhelmed. Her life means something. It meant something while she was on this Earth. And it means something now.

When I share my testimony, I always say, "This is never the path that Chris and I would have chosen. If God had given me the decision to take Melissa or allow her to stay, I would have kept her here with me. But this is the path he chose for us. And we are following it, and in awe of what he is doing through her." I can't think of a better way for us to honor Melissa's memory, than to be faithful to the God who loves her and who is keeping her until I can get there.

Don't get me wrong. We're not perfect. When Melissa died, I asked why. I couldn't understand why God would take my daughter, and allow mothers who are on drugs or who don't care about their children, to keep theirs. But I can see now, that God's purpose for Melissa's life is so much greater than anything she could have done on this Earth. I take comfort in that.

If I could talk to Rick and Sherry, I would tell them this: I know you can't imagine it now, but there will come a time when you won't cry all night long. There will come a time when you can say his name without crying. There will come a time where you can think of him and smile instead of cry.

Those things happen down the road. Right now, they are in the midst of intense grief and it's a grief that I wouldn't wish on anyone. But their faith in God is strong and he will carry them through.

I know, because he carried us.

7 comments:

Jaded Mama said...

Amy;

I don't think that anyone can get through losing a child without faith. Having to say good-bye to your baby almost forces you to see a bigger picture- and miz faith with hope.

You have been my idol since you came into my life. You have shown me how to turn sorrow into blessings.

BethE said...

Amen. It is oh too true. Melissa had made a difference in so many lives, and Bronner is doing the same already. God bless you. I pray that one day we'll say the same about Bryan Luke.

Amy George said...

JM,
You faced a giant uphill battle of your own! I am so proud of how you came out of what was such a tragic situation when the triplets died. You're amazing!
bethe,
Bryan Luke IS making a difference. All of our precious babies who went before us are making a difference in their own way. And we are so blessed to be their mommies.

Sheri Perl said...

I lost my son Danny to an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs on July 1, 2008. He was 22 years old. It has been devastating. The only thing that has helped me at all is my knowledge of the spirit world and the ability to "connect up" with Danny through thoughts, feelings, signs and of course, reputable mediums. Because Dan has made me aware, (through communications with medium Glenn Dove) that he feels and is uplifted by our prayers for him, I have started a Prayer Registry for parents who have lost children. In this way many of us can link up in thought and send out group prayers to each child registered, on the anniversary day of their passing. The registry has not yet been in existence for a year and already we have heard from some of the kids, (through mediums) that the prayers we send are very helpful. My Danny describes it as "catching rides". The families on this side also report feeling supported by these prayers. Please read about the Prayer Registry, for which there is no charge, at my website: www.sheriperl.com and please help me to spread the word. I’d like to see this open up to a much larger group. Thank you!

Sheri Perl said...

I lost my son Danny to an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs on July 1, 2008. He was 22 years old. It has been devastating. The only thing that has helped me at all is my knowledge of the spirit world and the ability to "connect up" with Danny through thoughts, feelings, signs and of course, reputable mediums. Because Dan has made me aware, (through communications with medium Glenn Dove) that he feels and is uplifted by our prayers for him, I have started a Prayer Registry for parents who have lost children. In this way many of us can link up in thought and send group prayers out to each child registered on the anniversary day of their passing. The registry has not yet been in existence for a year and already we have heard from some of the kids, (through mediums) that the prayers are very helpful. My Danny describes it as "catching rides". The families on this side also report feeling supported by these prayers. Please read about the Prayer Registry, for which there is no charge, at my website: www.sheriperl.com and please help me to spread the word. I’d like to see this open up to a much larger group. Thank you!

Sheri said...

The Prayer Registry site has been moved to:
sites.google.com/site/sheriperl. If you are mourning the loss of a child be sure to read about how to register him or her for prayer!

Sheri Perl said...

Please see my website and read about The Prayer Registry. This free website service is dedicated to all of the families who have lost children, whatever age that child was when they passed. This site registers the anniversary day of our children's crossing. The members of this online community,the Prayer Team, have the opportunity to honor their child's legacy, connect with other bereaved parents, and participate in world-wide group prayer for every registered loved one on the anniversary day of their passing.

There is no charge for this service; it is my sincere hope that every bereaved parent who registers a child will join the Prayer Team and be a source of prayer for all of the children on the other side. Each time another child is registered, the Prayer Team grows larger and stronger.

Please email Sheri at theprayerregistry@gmail.com to register your loved one on The Prayer Registry. By registering, you will have a forum to connect to other
bereaved parents and you will be able to upload comments, photographs, biographies, or any other information you want to share about your child with our community of bereaved parents. Once registered, you will be a member of the
Prayer Team and will receive Prayer Registry reminders one day before the anniversary day of one of our kids.

Please feel free to email any questions, concerns or feelings that you would like to share. My door is always open. I hope that this site provides some small measure of balm for the wounds of loss. From one bereaved parent to another, I welcome you to my site and offer my support.

This is one club that none of us would join by choice, but since we find ourselves in this unthinkable place, we stand stronger when we stand side by side.