Worn Out

What a week. I haven't been this physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted since Lily was a baby and I was getting up with her every few hours during the night, while taking care of her and our 18-month-old daughter, Ann Catherine, during the day.

Lily was diagnosed with pneumonia on Monday. She was so sick and felt absolutely terrible. Thankfully, she wasn't hospitalized but she still felt so bad. It absolutely broke my heart. She would just lay in my arms without moving. She ran a fever until Tuesday night and just wanted to be held.

From Sunday morning until Tuesday night, I held Lily almost every waking moment of the day. If I wasn't holding her, she was two seconds behind me. If I walked into another room, I would hear her calling, "Mommy, where are you?"

You moms know how it is. When children are sick, they want their mommies. I love that. I love that I can help make my kids feel better. But, I hadn't realized how exhausting that constant care can be. I'm not complaining. I love, love, love being a mommy. There is nothing I would rather do. But, let's face it. It's a tough job sometimes.

Tuesday night, after I tucked in both of my girls, I walked into the great room and told Chris, "I'm going to bed." I walked straight to our bedroom, crawled into bed and went to sleep. I haven't felt that tired in a long time.

Moms specialize in "giving" to others. That's our job as mommies. We make sure everyone else's needs are met before we meet our own. By Tuesday night, I felt like I had given so much that I didn't have anything left to give. All I could do was lay down and rest. And pray.

During this time, I realized how neglected Ann Catherine was feeling. So during the moments that I wasn't caring for Lily, I went out of my way to care for Ann Catherine and make her feel special. When you have just one child, you can give him or her all of your attention. When you have two, it's so much harder. Chris came home a little early Tuesday night so I could take Ann Catherine to gymnastics. She, so badly, needed some time alone with her mommy.

Lily is feeling better now. In fact, I snapped this picture of them watching television together this morning. Her fever finally broke yesterday and she is starting to act like Lily again. And best of all, we are all starting to get sleep again. I'm so glad!