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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Fraternity of Families

Chris and I went to the funeral home tonight. Remember the sweet baby boy named Reed who I recently blogged about? He passed away Sunday night. Chris and I went to his visitation so we could support Tina and Jonathan and pay our sympathies to this courageous little boy and his family.

I won't share private words we shared with his parents, but I can tell you that it was a tough night. I embraced Tina and we hugged each other and cried. I knew what she was feeling and I just hurt so badly for her. I remember that gut-wrenching pain you experience after your child dies. Only those who have lost a child can truly understand it.

Chris and I both cried as we left, and I told him that it just doesn't get any easier. When I get close to a mom in our NICU and they lose their child, it just brings back so many memories for me. It makes you realize that the pain of losing a child never truly goes away. The pain may lessen over time, but it never leaves.

A part of that makes me sad. There is this really hard and sad part of my life that I realize will be with me as long as I live. But, what I have to remember is that the good times will always outweigh the bad. God has blessed my family beyond measure. The joy that Chris, Ann Catherine and Lily Baker bring into my life is more than I could have ever hoped for. I am so grateful to God for putting them in my life.

I often say that those of us who have lost children are part of a fraternity. It's a fraternity that we never would have chosen to join, but we are members none the less. It's a tightly-knit brotherhood and sisterhood and we share a bond that no one else can understand.

Please keep Tina and Jonathan in your prayers as they prepare to do what no one should have to do: bury their child. They have an amazing faith, but what lies ahead will still be hard. Please say a prayer for them.


Melissa said...

That's devestating that Reed didn't win his fight. I only know Tina & Jonathon from reading your blog, but I know the pain Tina & Jonathon are going through, & my heart breaks for them. You are completely right about being a member of a fraternity. Friends & family will never understand, try as they might, the pain of losing a child. I will keep them in my prayers.

Stephanie T said...

This club is certainly not one any of us would choose, but what a blessing to meet others who have been on this path and continue on the journey. I firmly believe that God will not put more on you than you can stand. I also believe He places us where HE wants us to be and surrounds us with those who can help us achieve His purpose. I'm so glad we've been connected and comforted even if by tragedy! I have no doubt He will do this for the Reed family as well. We are all HIS children, and He loves us all the same!