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Monday, September 5, 2011

Why Do You Call Me the Rainbow?

We have called Lily Baker our rainbow from almost the time she was born. Just as God sent the rainbow to promise Noah He would never flood the Earth again, we felt He sent us Lily Baker after the worst storm of our lives to promise that our family would be okay.

Lily Baker knows she's the rainbow. She tells everyone. I've been wondering when the day would come when she'd ask why we call her that.

It came this morning. At the breakfast table. Don't you just love how some of our children's biggest questions come when we're least expecting it?

I forget how it came up. Someone said something about Lily Baker being our rainbow. And she looked at me and said, "Momma, why do you call me your rainbow?"

I looked at Chris. How do you boil this story down for a four-year-old? The word "rainbow" just carries so much weight for us because of the promise it holds. How do we explain this to our little girl?

Chris started it out. "Remember how God sent Noah the rainbow to promise He would never flood the Earth again?" She nodded yes. She knows that story well.

"Well," I continued, "when Melissa died, it was very painful for Mommy and Daddy. It was like a terrible storm for us. And we missed her so much." It hurt just remembering it.

But then the rainbow came...

Then I began to smile. "But then, He sent us you. And you were our promise that our family was going to be okay. That's why you are our rainbow."

She smiled, satisfied with the answer. And I smiled, just thinking of how much joy that rainbow brought into our lives.

But that wasn't all God had planned for this breakfast.

Talk turned to Melissa, and Ann Catherine starting asking questions about her death. As she grows older, this happens more and more. But on this morning, she asked me something she had never asked before.

She asked me if God knew when Melissa was born that she was going to die. I told her yes, that God knows everything and from the moment He created Melissa that was his plan for her life.

It's hard to describe the look that was on her face. I could tell that her 6-year-old brain was grappling with how this wonderful, loving God would create her sister only to allow her to die. She looked as if she might cry. She asked "Why?" and as Chris and I both fumbled for an answer, Lily Baker said so matter-of-factly, "Because Ann Catherine, God's ways are perfect!"

Chris and I were speechless. Once we recovered, he piggy backed off Lily Baker's awesome explanation to explain to Ann Catherine that yes, although sometimes God's plan makes NO sense to us, that his ways ARE perfect. He never makes mistakes and one day we will understand.

Here's the coolest thing about that answer. Lily Baker didn't learn that at home. She learned it last month at church. That was her verse for the month. How amazing that God used that simple message that she learned at church last month to help explain to Ann Catherine why her twin sister died. How amazing that she provided the answer when Chris and I had none!

I am constantly in awe of God's love for our family and how He - at each turn - gives us the words to help Ann Catherine try and understand her twin sister's death. I just never dreamed he would also use Lily Baker to do it. But then again, the Bible is full of God using "unlikely" people, isn't it?

And to think, it all happened over breakfast :)


LisaAnnM said...

I just loved that. We are blessed with a three year old that spent 28 in Hunstville Hospital NICU. She was adopted by us 2.5 years later. I was blessed to be the one that brought her home from the hospital and the only "Mommy" she has ever known. She has been in church since the beginning and has started her second year of Christian School. She never ceases to amaze us on what she learns. God blesses with angels and rainbows. Thanks for your inspirations!!

Angie said...

While we have never met, your family is so special to me. My family and I watched you on Channel 19. We almost died when you left!! You brought to 19 so was the God in you, and He showed! I am an avid reader of your blog and have grown to love your family through it. It has touched me many times, just as it did in this particular post. Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing the way that you do! Thanks for sharing this with us!

Amy said...

What a beautiful story! I know your little girl is so blessed to be part of your family. Thank you so much for sharing!!

Amy said...

I can't tell you how much your sweet comments mean to me! I have often said this blog is my therapy. Writing down my feelings and events like this just helps me deal with Melissa's death. I also hope my girls will read it one day and understand more of what this journey has meant to us.

Thank you for going on this journey with me!! I am honored that you read my blog and am so touched by your kind words!


Sherrill said...

And here come the happy tears again. God's "perfect plan" shouldn't still amaze me - but it does! My daddy used to tell us all the time the God "loves us all just alike". And I always took that literally - ALL of us. As we have traveled this journey that none of us wanted to travel, I still stand amazed at His grace to deliver us - and when we compare our testimonies of grace, they almost mirror each other! How many times God has sent His answers to us through little Abby - and now Ellie Kate is starting to learn about how much we love Jesus! He truly loves us all "just alike" - and oh, how I praise Him for that today! God bless you and your family - and our little rainbows!

Love my 2 BoYs! said...

Such a beautiful story Amy. It is so very powerful to see Him at work through your family! This story almost just leaves me speechless! Thanks for sharing and being such an inspiration.