Wow! I never realized that adding just one more child into the mix could change things so much. Some days I don't know if I'm coming or going :) The mornings are just complete chaos. Ann Catherine is walking all over the place, pulling things out of cabinets and such. And just when it's time for Ann Catherine to eat, Lily decides she's hungry too and starts crying. And then when I start feeding Lily, Ann Catherine brings a book to me and wants me to read to her. Talk about multi-tasking! Some days I feel like I'm "learning on the job" - which I guess I am. This is - without a doubt - the hardest job I have ever had!
Having said that, I wouldn't trade this life for anything! I feel like my family is complete. After Melissa died, Chris and I always felt like something was missing. Even though Ann Catherine brought us more joy than we could ever imagine, we still felt like our family was missing such an important part. Lily has brought such a sense of completion to our family. She in no way replaces Melissa. No one could ever do that. But she has truly completed our family. We feel so incredibly blessed. When we lost Melissa, it was the worst pain I had ever experienced. At that point, I never could have dreamed that God would bless our family in this way. It's so true that his time is not our time. And while nothing will ever take away the pain of losing Melissa, Lily has brought so much happiness to our family. She'll never know how she has changed us.