Lilypalooza, My Rainbow

Today I picked up Lily's coffee table book. Kristin Farnsworth, with Whispers Photography, has taken my girls' pictures since they were born and she does a coffee table book of their first two years. They are one of my most prized possessions!

I picked up Lily's today and couldn't be happier. Kristin lets you choose favorite quotes or scriptures and she includes them in the books. When I was coming up with verses that reflect my feelings for Lily, I came up with about 4 and Kristin used all of them. But there are two in the book that mean the most to me.

"I will put my rainbow in the clouds to be a sign of my promise..." Genesis 9:13

I call Lily my rainbow. Just as God sent the rainbow to promise Noah he would never flood the Earth again, he sent Lily, our rainbow, to us as a promise. This promise was that something good, pure and beautiful could come out of so much tragedy and heartache. As I have always said, Lily is not a replacement for Melissa, but she is a beautiful completion of our family. She is God's promise that all wasn't lost. She is God's promise that I would be able to laugh and love again. She is God's promise that you can survive one of the most painful loses imaginable.

She is my rainbow.

The other verse is this: "Since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you..." Colossians 1:9

My, how we prayed when we learned we were pregnant with Lily. To say we were scared was an understatement. My first pregnancy with Melissa and Ann Catherine was not an easy one and the outcome was not what we had imagined. Therefore, although I wanted Ann Catherine to have a sibling one day, I never wanted to be pregnant again. In fact, I had begun looking into adoption when we learned we were pregnant with Lily. I believe that God allowed us to become pregnant with her so we could truly learn what it means to trust him. We knew all of the bad things that could happen during a pregnancy because, unfortunately, many of those things had happened to us with AC and Melissa. So for nine months we had to completely rely on God and his will for our lives. While I was pregnant, I prayed constantly that God would allow Lily to live and that he would allow us to have the happy outcome we so desperately wanted. He answered that prayer. And I am eternally grateful.

Lily's mere presence has brought so much joy into our lives. Thank you God for sending the rainbow.

Shots, Shots and More Shots

Today was AC's four-year checkup. For you mommies who don't know, the four-year-old checkup is a doozy.

You get four shots.

That's right. One. Two. Three. Four.

I have been dreading this since my pediatrician informed me about it a few months ago. I could handle shots when they were babies. As bad as I hated to see my children cry, at least they didn't know it was coming until it happens.

A four-year-old knows. She can see the giant needles.

I didn't tell Ann Catherine about the shots. I figured it would only make it worse and make her dread it.

The nurse walked in and AC was fine. She had done so good during her checkup and thought it was over.

Then she saw the bandaids. The nurse told me to stand in between AC's legs and put my arms around her.

Then she saw the needles.

And then she became to scream.

I held on tight and, thankfully, the nurse was quick about it. AC was fighting us the whole time. There is nothing worse than your child looking at you for help and instead of helping, you are holding her down. After the fourth one, AC said, "Mommy, I want to go home!"

So did I.

The nurse said, "Ann Catherine, I do love that you are such a fighter." She told me that because AC was born so sick and premature, she loved seeing such fight in her.

Oh, she's a fighter alright. NICU babies have to be. And she still is.

I was really proud of AC because as soon as the shots were over, she stopped crying. We grabbed some stickers and left. She wasn't even crying anymore by the time we left the office.

I took her to Peggy Ann Bakery and got her a cookie covered in icing. Not a bad consolation prize.

The good news is AC doesn't get vaccinations again until she's twelve.

The bad news is Lily isn't four yet. In a year and a half, we get to do this again.

His Greatest Gift Ever

Hope all of you daddies had a wonderful Father's Day! Chris enjoyed his gifts on his special day.

The girls got him a golf shirt with an elephant on it to wear on game day...



And I got him a new cover for his grill (which doesn't fit, by the way, and has to be exchanged. Oh, well. What do I know about grill covers??).



And here's a cute picture of Lily "helping" her daddy open his presents.



But you know what? I could give Chris Father's Day presents until the end of time and they would never compare to his Father's Day gift four years ago. Here it is:



This was the first day he ever held Ann Catherine.

She was 17 days old.

Ann Catherine weighed only one pound, 15 ounces when she was born and was so critically ill. I wasn't able to hold her until she was ten days old (you talk about heartbreaking for a mommy). All I could do was sit by her bed and whisper in her ear.

When they finally let me hold her, they would allow me to hold her just a few moments each day. If Chris was with me, they would always ask him if he wanted to hold her. As bad as he did, he would always say, "That's okay. Let Amy do it. She needs it more than I do." He didn't mean that he didn't want to hold his baby girl. He just knew that this mommy needed to be able to hold Ann Catherine so badly. After all we had been through losing Melissa, this was something he could give me.

So each day Chris would come into the NICU, lean down next to Ann Catherine's tiny little ear and whisper, "Hey Ann Catherine. Daddy's here."

He said that every time he visited her. We even have it on video. He wanted that sick little girl to know that her daddy - her protector - was there for her. And he visited her so often. Each time he had a break at work, he would rush to the NICU so he could see her. And if I wasn't there, he would immediately call me to let me know how she was doing.

Seven days after I held her for the first time, Chris got a special surprise. It was Father's Day and we arrived that afternoon to visit Ann Catherine. The nurse looked at Chris and told him that since it was Father's Day, he was going to hold Ann Catherine. (If you are looking at the photo above and thinking, 'is he not wearing a shirt?' you are right. In the NICU they practice "Kangaroo Care" and parents hold preemies skin to skin. It's the warmest place for a premature baby to be.)

What an amazing Father's Day gift! And I was more than happy to step back and give him this time with her. It was so unbelievable watching him hold her. She was still so sick and so tiny. He waited 17 long days to hold her and this day meant everything to him.

He told Ann Catherine about it this morning. He explained to her that four years ago on Father's Day, he received the best gift ever. He held his baby girl for the first time.

No grill cover or golf shirt will ever top that. :)

VBS Week!

Wow - what a week. Well, technically not a week because our VBS (which our church actually calls "Go and Grow") was only Tuesday-Thursday. To those of you who do a 5-day VBS, my hat's off to you. I am so tired after just three days, I cannot imagine five.

That's not to say I didn't have a blast, because I did. Seriously, I had the best time working VBS. I shared the duties of Bible storyteller for the 3,4 and 5-year-olds. To say that AC was excited that I was working with her age group would be an understatement. I teach kindergartners on Sunday mornings, primarily because they are old enough to understand things but young enough to still want to hug me. But I also don't teach her age group because I want her to have some space from me. So she was thrilled that I would be working with her age group for VBS.

The very first day I came up on stage to start our skit and each time I would ask the kids something (like 'are you ready boys and girls?' or 'do you know the answer, boys and girls?') AC would yell out, "Yes, Mommy!!" On day two she kept saying "Hey, Mommy!" and was getting quite irritated that I didn't say hello back. However, I figured the woman who saw Jesus at the tomb probably didn't yell out 'hey, AC!' and since I was in character, I decided not to as well. Today, I had finally learned my lesson, so when I came out on stage I made eye contact with her and gave her a little wink. That seemed to do the trick and satisfy her.

I LOVED working VBS! This is something I was never able to do when I worked full time so this really was such a treat for me. More than anything, I think I loved "sneaking" around to watch her - whether it was singing and dancing, making crafts or playing games. I just loved watching her take it all in. Today we had our finale where the kids showed the parents the songs they had learned all week. I snapped a few photos:



I love this picture because of the pure joy in her face while she sings. Is she having fun or what??



Intently listening to what's going on :)



LB and her daddy!



Me and AC with a mouth full of chicken mcnuggets in her mouth (we had a picnic at church afterwards). Am I looking a little tired?

My kids had the best week and so did I! VBS was such a huge part of my early years and I want the same for my kids. They couldn't wait to go to church each morning and that just made me so happy. Now, we are just ready to sleep in tomorrow (I'll even take 7:30!!) and rest. As fun as it is, VBS is also a bit exhausting!

Ahead of their Time

Isn't it crazy what our kids know? They are growing up in such a technologically-advanced age that I can't imagine what they'll be doing by the time they are 12!

Take for instance yesterday. AC was playing on my computer (I'll pull up a blank word doc and she pretends she 'checking her email.'). Anyhoo, I asked her what she was doing and she said, "texting an email." No it doesn't make any sense but she sees her mommy check her email and send text messages and she thinks she can do it too. The fact that she even knew the word 'texting' made me laugh.

The best part was at my mother's house the other night when she picked up my mom's cell phone and starting snapping pictures. My mother said, "Ann Catherine, how do you do that?" and she starting showing my mother how to take pictures with her phone.

She's 4.

Oh, and she also showed my mom how to use their DVD player. But she was 3 then.

Cracks me up.

Button is Fixed

Hey everyone!

Whitney fixed the donation widget so the "a" is no longer cut off at the end of Melissa's name. So grab the new code to the right instead, put the blog button on your blog and help us spread the word about Swim for Melissa! Thanks!!

Blog Button is Up!

A giant, heartfelt THANK YOU to Whitney who created a donation widget for Swim for Melissa (see to the right). It links directly to our Swim for Melissa website so people can donate directly.

If any of you would be so kind to put this on your blog, I would greatly appreciate it!! The code is to the right. You'll notice that where I have it the "a" in Melissa's name is cut off. That's because it isn't 125x125. Whitney is graciously working to fix that, so in the meantime, you might want to post it at the top of your blog (or you can do it to the side if that doesn't bother you). Again, thank you Whitney for doing this for me!!!

Now my fellow bloggers - please add this to your blog and help us raise some money! Thanks so much to everyone for helping us promote the event!!