Amy George's Working Wonders Blog

Outgrowing our Children's Toys

2012-01-17T21:45:00.001-06:00

There’s a scene in Toy Story 2 that always makes me sad.

It’s when Jessie recounts the story of how her friend and playmateoutgrew her. One minute the little girl is spending every waking moment with Jessie,the next minute the doll is under her bed as she giggles and plays with her friends. She is older now, and she has moved on.

I know its fiction, but italways gets me.

I already see it in AnnCatherine. She deems herself too grown up for some things, as she walks throughthe house with her earphones on listening to her favorite music.

But, Lily Baker? Oh Lord,thank you for Lily Baker.

At any given moment of anygiven day, I can find Lily Baker in her room with her gazillion miniatureprincesses and princes sprawled across the room. She talks to them, plays withthem, loves them.

Her favorite is Belle.

I don’t know when Lily Bakerfirst came to love Belle. It just seems it’s always been that way. Yellow is herfavorite color, because that’s the color of Belle’s party dress. She loves theBeast, Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip – all of them. She’s seen Beautyand the Beast so many times she could recite it by heart. And as far asheroines go, Belle’s not bad. She’s smart, loves to read, isn’t a damsel indistress and teaches the beast how to love. Not too shabby. My child’s rolemodels could be worse, you know.

We took the girls to WaltDisney World in April. They were the perfect age. They believe in the magic. By golly, Cinderella actually lives in thatgiant castle on Main Street. Each night as we walked past, we wondered aloudwhich bedroom was hers.

But the best part? WatchingLily Baker meet Belle for the first time.

It was at dinner atCinderella’s Castle. I snapped this picture as Lily Baker saw her from afarfor the first time and watched her walk towards our table.

I couldn’t even look at Belle for looking at Lily Baker. Her reaction was priceless. It was worthevery single penny we had paid to go there.

It just so happened thatBeauty and the Beast was the featured show at Hollywood Studios so Lily Bakergot to see it on stage. I don't think she blinked the entire show.

This past weekend we had another first with Belle: Beautyand the Beast in 3D. She had never seen it on the big screen and she was beyond excited.. She insisted on wearing her Belle dress to thetheater. Each time her favorite songs came on, I found myself watching herinstead of watching the movie. I was overflowing with happiness. It was completely worth the inflated ticket prices and ridiculously priced popcorn.

That’s when I realized something: these memories are asmuch for me, as they are for her. When I am old and gray and Lily Baker haschildren of her own, I will see a Belle doll and immediately think of LilyBaker and her love for this princess. I will hear "Be Our Guest" and hear Lily Baker's voice singing it. I will immediately be transported to a time long ago – a timewhen Lily Baker called her sister “Ann Caf-rine,” a time when she begged to wear dress-up clothes each time we went to the grocery store, a time where it made complete sense to her that Belle could talk to household objects, like a candlestick and clock. A time that now seems so crazy and rushed, but I havea feeling when I reflect back, I’ll long for that craziness.

Maybe our children’s childhood toys – those they absolutelycherish – are more for us than them. Maybe God is giving us memories as well, areminder when they are older of how wonderful life was when they actually believed in princesses and fairytales.

One day, Belle may find her way under Lily Baker’s bed asshe giggles with her friends, painting their nails.

When it does, I’ll still remember her.

I think Lily Baker will, too.

Hockey with Heart!

2012-01-05T21:33:00.000-06:00

I'll never forget when the Huntsville Havoc approached us five years ago about doing a fundraiser for Melissa's Fund.

The players were going to wear pink jerseys. PINK!! I just couldn't imagine those tough guys wearing pink jerseys.

They did. And they were such good sports about it. Before the game, Chris took Ann Catherine into the locker room and told them all about her and Melissa. He told them about their brave fight in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Huntsville Hospital for Women & Children. He told them how Melissa's fight ended way too early. He told them how Ann Catherine beat the odds to finally come home to us 68 days later. He told them how the auction of those pink jerseys would allow us to give other parents - parents just like us - hope.

When he finished, those players understood why they were wearing those pink jerseys. They played their hearts out, won in front of a packed crowd and we raised $65,000 in one night as we auctioned off those stinky, smelly - and in some cases, bloody - jerseys.

I'll never forget that night as long as I live.

Lily Baker was only two-months-old. The pain of losing Melissa was still so fresh. But on that night, we realized the impact Melissa's Fund could have on those precious babies and their families.

We learned that this town's hockey community didn't just love hockey. They love giving back. And Chris and I are beyond humbled at the way they have embraced the Melissa George Neonatal Memorial Fund.

We are so grateful to the Huntsville Havoc front office who put their heart and soul into this event. We are grateful that they have chosen to partner with us for the last five years to help premature babies and their families.

(Ann Catherine and her daddy dropping the puck at last year's game)

If you've come to this special night before, we hope you'll come again this year. If you haven't been before, clear your calendar for this Saturday night and join us. I promise you won't regret it!

The first 1,000 fans to bring an item for the NICU will receive a Havoc/Melissa George Fund water bottle. What to bring? Premature clothing, booties, hats or disposable cameras. Why disposable cameras? We leave them at the baby's bedside so nurses can take pictures of them when the parents aren't around. In fact, Ann Catherine received her very first bath at night. I wasn't there. But thanks to our nurse, and our disposable camera, I have a picture of it. That, my friends, is priceless.

Your support of Melissa's Fund means more than you'll ever know. For the past five years, hundreds of families have been on the receiving end of your kindness. You may never meet them, but please know that you have made an impact on their life.

Thank you from one very grateful family. We'll see you Saturday night!

Where Toys Go to Die

2011-12-11T13:25:00.001-06:00

My mom got new furniture this week.

And because I'm not at all too proud to get used/free stuff, I got the old stuff.

I decided I would move my sofa in the keeping room into the girls' playroom, which meant a load of toys had to go.

I am not a glutton for punishment. I usually do this when I'm alone to avoid the wailing of my children as I throw out toys they haven't played with in years.

But here's the thing. I hate purging/throwing away/any general house cleaning work, so when the mood strikes me I have to do it right that minute or it will never get done. So all of a sudden at 9am yesterday, I decided it had to be done.

I walked in with trash bags and started sorting things into the "keep" pile and the "give away/throw away" pile.

The girls were helping and it was all going well.

Then I opened the toy chest.

Apparently, it had become the place where toys go to die.

It was full - overflowing actually - of toys, stuffed animals, games, puzzles, etc. I began pulling out things I hadn't seen in years.

All of a sudden, Lily screamed.

"Little Red!!"

It was the figure from "Super Why" and I had placed her in the "give away/throw away" pile.

Now, keep in mind that Lily Baker hasn't watched "Super Why" in at least a year, maybe more. She had no idea that she even had this doll. She cried anyway.

"I love her!" she cried.

"Lily Baker," I said. "You didn't even know you had it."

"But, I love her!!" she countered, as if saying it a second time would drive the point home.

"Right," I said. "You love her so much that you left her at the bottom of this toy chest for two years."

I know it might sound tough. Yes, I could have given in and kept Little Red, but I would have found her again in six months at the bottom of that same toy chest. I was in the zone with trash bag in hand and Little Red had to go.

I mumbled something about "this is why I never do this when you two are around," but I held firm. So long, Little Red.

I did allow them to keep some things, but I stood my ground on others. Lily Baker agreed to give away other things, too. Once we finished, the playroom looked awesome. You could actually find things again and find a place to sit.

Mission accomplished!

Not a Creature was Stirring...

2011-12-08T19:49:00.001-06:00

...not even a mouse!

That was Lily Baker today - the mouse in "The Night Before Christmas" at her school's Christmas program.

The 4-year-old class performs this each year at Christmas. She was pumped when she first learned she was the mouse. Then she realized something. My girly-girl who loves nothing more than wearing skirts and pretty shoes learned her attire. Gray sweat pants and a hooded sweatshirt with mouse ears.

It was all over.

"Mom, I wish I was one of the Sugar Plum ballerinas!" she told me last week. "They get to wear tutus and dance around!"

I thought fast.

"But Lily Baker, you are the first person on stage! The mouse comes first!"

She wasn't even slightly impressed.

"And, there are three ballerinas but only ONE mouse!"

"Mom," she answered. "There's also only one Santa, one Rudolph and one Frosty."

She had a point there.

"Oh!" I shouted out with my ace in the hole. "You get to wear face paint!!"

And with that, she was finally on board.

So as her lines were delivered by the narrator, she tiptoed across stage. And I think she was the cutest mouse I've ever seen.

I also couldn't help thinking something else.

This is it.

You see, my children started at this preschool when Ann Catherine was just 14 months old. They went to daycare there because I worked full-time.

That means I have sat through this program every year for the past five years. I can sing the songs, recite the lines, and do the hand motions. I have lined up thirty minutes early to get a good seat. I have snapped pictures while Chris recorded video. I have giggled over children singing off-key and laughed at shouts of "Hey, Mommy!" coming from the stage in the middle of a song.

It has been as much a part of my Christmas holiday as stressing over gifts and making last-minute runs to Target.

And now it's over.

We leave this place when Lily Baker graduates in May and that makes me so sad. I know that each chapter brings exciting changes and moving on is a part of life.

But there's something about preschool that is happy. And warm. And comfortable. And safe.

There's something about watching four-year-olds on stage skip over an entire verse of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" without even realizing it. There's something about watching children dressed as Santa, Frosty, angels and reindeer. There's something about watching your "tends to be shy" baby girl tip toe on stage - quiet as a mouse - and then belt out "Jingle Bells" without a care in the world.

And I'm going to miss that.

Things I Want My Girls to Know

2011-12-03T15:09:00.001-06:00

Dear Ann Catherine and Lily Baker,
Today is your daddy's birthday. And it's a big one! I won't "out" him on my blog, but if you are old enough when you are reading this, you can do the math. :)

Here's the thing about family. You know everything about each other, warts and all. When you live together, you see it all: the good, the bad and the ugly. You already know I can be a control freak and a worrier. You already know your dad can be impatient and a bit grumpy at times. That's no surprise to either of you. Instead, I want you to know these things about your father today:

Your father loves you.
That is the understatement of the year. He loved you before he ever knew you. When he laid eyes on you, that sealed the deal. When he held your tiny bodies in his big, strong arms, he was forever changed. In a very good way.

Your father loves me.
And he isn't afraid to let you know the pecking order. I'll never forget one time when you interrupted us, and he borrowed a line from our pastor and said, "Girls, I am talking to your mother. She was here before you came and she'll be here long after you are gone." He openly shows his love for me. That's a powerful message for little girls.

Your father is a good man.
He loves God and he seeks His will. When making a decision, he always has our best interests at heart. He tries to do things the right way. When asked once what I thought his greatest trait was, I didn't hesitate: loyalty. He is incredibly loyal to those he loves. Which brings me to my next point...

Your father will always support you.
That doesn't mean he'll always think you are right. I've already witnessed him gently letting you know when you are wrong. It means that when you are doing the right thing, he will fight for you. He will be in your corner. He will support you. And, God love him, he will sit through dance recitals, cheer you on at t-ball games and always tell you how pretty you look. That's just the way it is.

Your father will always feel the need to protect you.
This one is non-negotiable. It happened from the moment you were born. He looked at you and the first thing he thought was, "She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." His second thought was "And if someone ever tries to hurt her, I'll...." I'll let you two fill in the blank there, but I am pretty sure it involves a hockey stick and your father's ability to swing it. You might want to prepare your boyfriends for the first time they ever visit. Oh, I'll try and be the voice of reason but there's only so much I can do. And woe to the little boy who tries to pick you up without coming to the front door. It's safe to say it will be the last time he visits. I could go on and on about this one, but know one thing: this is your dad's job. No one will ever be good enough for you, in his eyes. That's just life. As you grow older, refrain from the need to roll your eyes about this one and, instead, embrace it for what it is: love.

You are both incredibly blessed to have him.
Never doubt that and never forget it.

You gave him a new Bible today for his birthday. What a perfect present for him to receive from his little girls. Don't forget to tell him today how much you love him and how grateful you are that he's your daddy. I won't either.

Love,
Mommy

Finding my Confidence

2011-11-28T11:29:00.001-06:00

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

As I did my Bible study a few weeks ago, God made something abundantly clear to me.

I am afraid to ask boldly.

It's not that I don't believe that God can do anything. It's not that I don't have faith in Him.

It's because I know how devestating it can be when His answer isn't the same as ours. So even though I pray for others and I believe in His power, when it comes to me, I'm simply afraid to ask boldly.

It all goes back to my daughter's death. Chris and I prayed fervently and passionately that she would be healed. And we didn't just pray it. We believed it. We claimed it.

And then she died and we felt like we had been blindsided. I think her death hit us so hard because we believed that God would answer our prayers.

But, his answer was different from ours. And it was absolutely heartbreaking.

And because of that, I have been afraid to "go out on a limb" when praying because I don't want to be disappointed when the answer is different from mine.

This morning, as I did my Bible study, I came across this verse in Hebrews 4:16:

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence (my emphasis), so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

I felt like God was hitting me over the head with a two by four. And then I thought about it more.

It's that word "confidence." Didn't I approach the throne with confidence when I prayed for him to heal Melissa?

Yes, I did. But I don't think this verse is talking about that kind of confidence.

It's not being confident that God is going to hear my prayer and answer it exactly the way I want Him to.

It's confidence that he will hear my prayer and that His will will be done. And it's confidence that if that outcome isn't the same one that I prayed for, that He will carry me. It's confidence that His ways are perfect even when they don't make sense to me. It's confidence that He is in control. It's confidence that I cannot control the outcome, but I can trust him to carry me.

Have you ever felt like a verse in the Bible was written just for you? I had that feeling today. Even so, I'm not there yet. I'm praying for that confidence when I do approach His throne of grace. And I am grateful for a God who hears me when I cry.

My Cup is Full

2011-11-24T10:05:00.001-06:00

I have certain coffee cups I use on certain days.

I have one given to me by a friend with two little girls on it and a rainbow. It reminds me of Ann Catherine, Lily Baker and Melissa. I use it on days when I need to feel that love.

I have an Alabama coffee cup that I may or may not use the mornings the Crimson Tide is playing. (Cut me some slack. I married a hockey player. By virtue of that, I may be a wee bit superstitious.) I am fully aware the coffee cup has no bearing on the outcome of the game, but it makes me feel better. :)

I have big, oversized ones that I use on the mornings when I'm working from home and need an extra shot of caffeine.

But the one I reached for today is probably the most special one of all. It belonged to my grandmother, Mama Long, who passed away when I was a senior in high school.

I was so close to her. Looking back now, the reason is obvious. I'm a lot like her. I think she saw that when I was younger, too.

I loved going to her house. I looked the blue jug of ice cold water she left in her refrigerator. My cousins and I would devour it after playing in her back yard.

I loved watching her sit in her chair and crochet. The stocking we hang on the mantle for Melissa is one she made me as a child. Our tree skirt was also made by her loving hands.

I loved playing board games with her, especially Aggravation. We played it every time I visited. I love that she always carried dice and marbles in an old Bufferin bottle in her purse. She was always ready to play.

I loved looking at her photo albums as a child, and even as a teenager. I would sit in her floor and look at them for hours on end. When she died, my aunts gave them to me and I will cherish them for the rest of my life.

A few years ago, we were at Thanksgiving at my Aunt Linda's house. She had a box of small things - knick knacks and trinkets - that belonged to my grandmother and asked us all if we wanted to go through them. I immediately saw this coffee cup and knew that I wanted it.

My grandmother collected coffee cups. It's what we always brought her back from vacation. She proudly displayed them on her kitchen wall.

If anything ever reminded me of my grandmother, it was this coffee cup.

I cherish it. Whenever I empty the dishwasher, I carefully place it back in the cupboard so as not to drop it. It's truly irreplaceable.

I reached for it today on this Thanksgiving Day. Because if there is one thing I have learned in my 30-plus years it's this: it's all about family.

Families aren't perfect. All families have their ups and downs. There are heartbreaks, there are disagreements, there are disappointments.

But there are also those in your family that you love with all your heart. Unconditionally, openly and without apology.

On this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for those that God placed in my life without my choosing. Some are in Heaven, and I have so much comfort knowing Melissa is there surrounded by the love of my grandparents who I loved dearly.

I'm also thankful for those who are here. Some I will see today, and some I won't. I am also overjoyed that family means as much to my girls as it does to me.

I hope you have time with your family this Thanksgiving. As I enjoy my coffee this morning, I'm counting my blessings. And I am overwhelmed by God's goodness.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

"And the Mother of the Year Goes to...."

2011-11-03T20:59:00.001-05:00

My friends and I have this running joke called "Mother of the Year." When we really screw up regarding our kids, we bestow the "Mother of the Year" title on the offending mom. Chris wants to create an actual trophy because it happens so often.We've even joked that we should have a "MOY" ceremony each year to see who screwed up the most.

I do believe I have now skyrocketed to the top of that list.

Let me explain. Ann Catherine lost her fifth tooth tonight. Oddly enough, it all happened because she wiped out on the hardwood taking her hamper back to her room. No, she didn't knock her tooth out, but she got a nice goose egg on her head. Chris grabbed the Dora ice pack and she crawled in the chair with me. After she grew tired of applying it to her forehead, she apparently put the ice pack in her mouth and bit down. Next thing I know I hear, "Mommy, my tooth just came out!!"

Now that's a crazy chain of events, isn't it?

As blood poured from her mouth, we raced to the bathroom. As we rinsed, Chris reveled in the fact that she looked like Bobby Clark with both of her top teeth missing (you hockey fans will appreciate that. The rest of you, just google and you'll get it. Pretty funny.)I grabbed the tooth and put it on a paper towel on the kitchen counter.

Oh, you know where this is going don't you??!

An hour later, we started getting the girls ready for bed. As they crawled in bed, I remembered - the tooth!! I raced to the kitchen to get it...

...and the paper towel was GONE!!

It all started coming back. I remembered walking through the kitchen earlier and thinking, "Good grief. There is stuff EVERYWHERE!" and then putting said stuff in the garbage.

Oh my word. You have GOT to be kidding me!

"CHRIS!!!!!" I screamed.

He came running.Unfortunately, so did Ann Catherine.

I had the garbage can out and he immediately knew. Apparently we have been married way too long. He said, "Oh please tell me you didn't throw her tooth away!"

And right on cue, the wailing began.

"Just help me look!" I impatiently said while Ann Catherine stood there sobbing. All the while I'm thinking, "How on God's green earth are we going to find that tiny little tooth in all of this trash???"

And if we don't, what do we do? Grab her first one - that the tooth fairy left us - and hope she doesn't notice?? Write the tooth fairy a note??

"Dear Tooth Fairy, even though there is no tooth under my pillow, please leave money because MY MOTHER IS AN IDIOT AND THREW MY TOOTH AWAY??? In the meantime, can I come live with you? Love, Ann Catherine"

As all of those thoughts went racing through my brain, God must have felt sorry for the mom rifling through trash, because I saw a paper towel all wadded up.

And tucked inside, was Ann Catherine's tooth.

Oh thank you Jesus!We grabbed it and put it in a Ziploc bag. As we placed it under her pillow, Ann Catherine said, "Are you sure that's my tooth?"

Poor child. I'm going to assume that watching your mother frantically search through trash looking for your tooth scars you a bit.

In the meantime, go ahead and send that "Mother of the Year" trophy to my house. I'll put it on the mantle next to the crumpled, blood-stained, food-stained paper towel.

The Art of Letting Go

2011-10-21T10:31:00.007-05:00

(Lily Baker's baptism in 2007)

I walked into my bedroom this morning to find Lily Baker crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't want to get married one day and move away from you!" she cried. Tears were streaming down her face and she began sobbing.

I picked her up and put her in my lap. "Baby, that's so far away. One day that will happen and you'll be ready for it. But not right now. And not anytime soon!"

That didn't satisfy her.

"But, Mommy," she cried, "I don't EVER want to move away you. I want to live with you forever!"

As I held her, I said the two words I meant more than anything in this world.

"Me too."

My girls are only 17 1/2 months apart. When Lily Baker was born, I suddenly had two babies under the age of two. There were days the first year of Lily Baker's life that I truly didn't know which end was up.

My friends with older children would say, "Enjoy these days because they go by so fast."

I thought they had been hit over the head with a hammer. So fast?? When you have two children in highchairs and wearing diapers, NOTHING goes by fast.

Then one day I pulled up at a big, giant school and walked my oldest into kindergarten and realized they were right.

My pastor says the whole goal of parenting is to one day work yourself out of a job. You want to equip your children so that when it is time for them to leave, they can survive without you.

When you have little ones, that's a tough pill to swallow.

Each day, I see them gaining more and more independence. Ann Catherine now carpools to dance. The other day as I walked Lily Baker into her dance class she commanded, "Mommy, stop right there! I can open the door and walk into class all by myself. Don't help me!" I think I felt a little bit of my heart break at that moment.

The other night Chris and I were putting the girls to bed. It had been a particularly long day and I was looking forward to having a couple of hours of peace and quiet before I went to bed.

I had hugged and kissed them both repeatedly as I tucked them in. I made it all the way to the door, just a few more steps away from collapsing on the sofa. Then Lily Baker said,

"Mommy, can I have just one more hug?"

So I turned around and went back because I know the day will come when I'm begging her for hugs instead.

I hope that day is a long way off.

Visit to the Farm

2011-10-15T09:56:00.017-05:00

We made our annual trek to Tate Farms yesterday. Like most people who live in this area, a visit to Tate Farms has become a fall tradition for our family.

I love the hayride to the pumpkin patch where the girls pick out their Halloween pumpkins. They love the games! And Tate Farms sucks them in because the games are the first thing you see when you walk in. I'm going to go out on a limb and say their lemonade is the best I've ever tasted. I think I got one sip yesterday before Lily Baker downed it. :)

Lily Baker loves the petting zoo...

...while Ann Catherine refused to go in because "it stinks in there!" I'm afraid I may be raising a city girl...or maybe not??

For the second year in a row, Lily Baker's buddy, Will, just happened to be there at the same time. Oh my, do those two love each other!

We went to Tate Farms for the first time when Ann Catherine was two-years-old...

...and we've been going ever since! Yes, we act like goofballs....

...but the family memories are priceless!

Chris and I joked on the way home that it's the kind of place where you are so excited to get there, but so ready to leave when it's over (because you are worn out!) If you've never been, you need to check it out. To learn more about Tate Farms, click here.

A Big Splash for Tiny Miracles!

2011-09-13T15:40:00.026-05:00

This post is way overdue, but I always hesitate when blogging about events for Melissa's Fund. Maybe it's all of the emotions soaring through my body. Maybe it's a fear of leaving any detail out. Maybe it's a sense of dread of how to do justice to a truly magical weekend.

I'll try anyway.

Here are the official numbers: This year's Swim for Melissa and Miracle Bash raised more than $181,000 for the Melissa George Neonatal Memorial Fund!!! To raise that kind of money in this kind of economy is truly astounding!

More than 500 people came to the Davidson Center to enjoy Miracle Bash. We had more than 100 silent auction items and seven live auction items. Our biggest hit was an autographed Taylor Swift guitar!! The Undergrounders played (hello college, anyone??!) and everyone had a great time. It was a fantastic evening!

On Saturday, we rolled out of bed bright and early to join close to 200 little swimmers at Hampton Cove Pool. These kids take my breath away every year. They make Swim for Melissa the wonderful event that it is. It warms my heart to see them jump into the pool and swim with all the energy they can muster.

(Lily Baker's team "Melissa's Rainbows")

The coolest part for me this year? Lily Baker finally got to swim! Last year was Ann Catherine's first time to swim in the event and, as you can imagine, it was a very emotional time for me and Chris. But adding Lily Baker this year was just the icing on the cake. It just truly brought it full circle for our family. To see both of our girls swimming in memory of their sister? It gave me a feeling that I truly can't put into words.

(Ann Catherine's team "Melissa's Miracles")

I will tell you this. On this day each year, maybe more than any other, I feel Melissa's spirit and her presence so strongly. I am reminded of the fight and courage she showed during her short time on this Earth, and that gives me the energy and determination to keep going. Each year at this event, I see other moms and dads who have survived this NICU journey and I am inspired by their efforts to give back.

To those of you who came to Miracle Bash and/or Swim for Melissa, to those of you who volunteered your time and to those of you who made generous donations, thank you doesn't seem adequate. Regardless, I will say it. Thank you for all you do to support the Melissa George Neonatal Memorial Fund. Thanks to you, we can help make life better for premature infants and their families.

Before I end, allow me to share one story that to me personifies Swim for Melissa. A lady walked up to me at the pool that morning and introduced me to her son and daughter. They were both taking part in Swim for Melissa. She had explained to her children that this event was to help the babies in the NICU. To further bring it home, she and her children prayed every night for those babies in the weeks leading up to the event. How awesome is that?! What a wonderful mom to help her children grasp why helping others is so important, and then to go the extra mile with her children to pray for those precious babies!

Each year at Swim for Melissa, we hear stories so similar to that one. These children know why are swimming (ask any of them and they'll tell you they're "helping the tiny babies") and that means more to me than anything. So many of our children have everything they need and it's good to remind them that we are expected to help others.

I love that part of Swim for Melissa. And I love each of you who made it such a inspiring weekend!

Why Do You Call Me the Rainbow?

2011-09-05T09:57:00.007-05:00

We have called Lily Baker our rainbow from almost the time she was born. Just as God sent the rainbow to promise Noah He would never flood the Earth again, we felt He sent us Lily Baker after the worst storm of our lives to promise that our family would be okay.

Lily Baker knows she's the rainbow. She tells everyone. I've been wondering when the day would come when she'd ask why we call her that.

It came this morning. At the breakfast table. Don't you just love how some of our children's biggest questions come when we're least expecting it?

I forget how it came up. Someone said something about Lily Baker being our rainbow. And she looked at me and said, "Momma, why do you call me your rainbow?"

I looked at Chris. How do you boil this story down for a four-year-old? The word "rainbow" just carries so much weight for us because of the promise it holds. How do we explain this to our little girl?

Chris started it out. "Remember how God sent Noah the rainbow to promise He would never flood the Earth again?" She nodded yes. She knows that story well.

"Well," I continued, "when Melissa died, it was very painful for Mommy and Daddy. It was like a terrible storm for us. And we missed her so much." It hurt just remembering it.

But then the rainbow came...

Then I began to smile. "But then, He sent us you. And you were our promise that our family was going to be okay. That's why you are our rainbow."

She smiled, satisfied with the answer. And I smiled, just thinking of how much joy that rainbow brought into our lives.

But that wasn't all God had planned for this breakfast.

Talk turned to Melissa, and Ann Catherine starting asking questions about her death. As she grows older, this happens more and more. But on this morning, she asked me something she had never asked before.

She asked me if God knew when Melissa was born that she was going to die. I told her yes, that God knows everything and from the moment He created Melissa that was his plan for her life.

It's hard to describe the look that was on her face. I could tell that her 6-year-old brain was grappling with how this wonderful, loving God would create her sister only to allow her to die. She looked as if she might cry. She asked "Why?" and as Chris and I both fumbled for an answer, Lily Baker said so matter-of-factly, "Because Ann Catherine, God's ways are perfect!"

Chris and I were speechless. Once we recovered, he piggy backed off Lily Baker's awesome explanation to explain to Ann Catherine that yes, although sometimes God's plan makes NO sense to us, that his ways ARE perfect. He never makes mistakes and one day we will understand.

Here's the coolest thing about that answer. Lily Baker didn't learn that at home. She learned it last month at church. That was her verse for the month. How amazing that God used that simple message that she learned at church last month to help explain to Ann Catherine why her twin sister died. How amazing that she provided the answer when Chris and I had none!

I am constantly in awe of God's love for our family and how He - at each turn - gives us the words to help Ann Catherine try and understand her twin sister's death. I just never dreamed he would also use Lily Baker to do it. But then again, the Bible is full of God using "unlikely" people, isn't it?

And to think, it all happened over breakfast :)

Playing for Preemies

2011-09-02T17:46:00.012-05:00

One of the neatest things about starting Melissa's Fund is the people we have met.

Rusty Bates and his wife, Kristin, are two of those people.

Rusty is the Athletic Director and Assistant Principal at Ardmore High School. 18 months ago, his wife Kristin gave birth to their beautiful daughter, Lauren. She was 12 weeks early and weighed just two pounds. She spent a lot of time in a Giraffe OmniBed purchased by the Melissa George Neonatal Memorial Fund.

Lauren went on to spend 51 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Huntsville Hospital for Women & Children. She is now a very energetic and healthy little girl. And pretty adorable!

Last year, Rusty started "Playing for Preemies" at Ardmore High School. They sell t-shirts and raffle tickets - three lucky students get to the throw a pie at the principals! At the football game, NICU nurses are the honorary captains and get to go on the field. It's such a neat event!

Last year Chris and I went to the pep rally to talk to the students about the NICU and Melissa's Fund. We had such a great time, and decided we wanted to take the girls this year!

They had such a blast! It was their first pep rally and they loved watching the cheerleaders dance and listening to the band. And it was so neat seeing all of the cheerleaders and so many of the students wearing "Playing for Preemies" shirts with the Melissa's Fund logo.

But most importantly, I loved that they got to see *firsthand* how generous people are. I love that they got to see an example of how Melissa's Fund is helping babies. I just so love that they are now old enough to go on this journey with us!!

Thank you Rusty and Kristin Bates for your passion for our NICU!! And thank you students at Ardmore High School for supporting Melissa's Fund!

***A post on this year's Swim for Melissa is coming soon! I have been waiting for the official total - and it's so good!! Can't wait to share :)

Another Reason to Love Taylor Swift...

2011-08-11T15:54:00.004-05:00

I have always loved Taylor Swift. After all, she's one of the few singers that I feel comfortable letting my daughters listen to. My girls love her!

Now, I love her even more!

This week, she signed a Yamaha dreadnought acoustic guitar, donated by AB Stephens of Huntsville, aboard her plane enroute to Philadelphia for the next stop on her Triple-Platinum-Plus Speak Now album tour. We will auction it off tomorrow night at Miracle Bash!!

To see pictures, click here.

Thank you, Taylor Swift!! And our NICU babies thank you too! One day, I'm sure they'll be fans :)

A Wee Dress to help Wee Ones!

2011-08-09T22:25:00.009-05:00

One of the coolest things about planning Miracle Bash is coming up with fun items for our silent auction. Click here to visit the "Southern Matriarch" blog and see what she created for Miracle Bash.

Adorable!! I know one little girl who would LOVE it for her doll!!

To see some of our other awesome live and silent auction items, visit our Miracle Bash blog or find us on Facebook.

By the way, we are trying to get a head count for this year's Miracle Bash. If you are planning to come, we need to know by tomorrow!! You can RSVP by visiting our Swim for Melissa website and clicking on "Miracle Bash" or call Huntsville Hospital Foundation at 256-265-8077.

We hope to see you there!!

Rainbow to the Rescue

2011-08-08T21:35:00.016-05:00

Milestones are hard for parents who have lost children.

Ann Catherine's first day of kindergarten last year was incredibly hard for me. I was fine in front of Ann Catherine, but I broke down when I left the school. I wasn't crying because Ann Catherine was going to kindergarten. I was crying because Melissa wasn't.

My parents watched Lily Baker that morning so Chris and I could walk AC into school and spend that time one-on-one with her. But as soon as we were finished, I could not wait to get to Lily Baker. Having her with me is what got me through the day.

This year, Ann Catherine asked if Lily Baker could accompany us on that first day of school. I said yes. After all, since AC attended full-time kindergarten last year it wasn't such a transition for all of us this year.

There was also another reason.

Lily Baker just always makes things better.

As most of you know, we call her our rainbow. Just as God sent the rainbow after that horrible storm to promise he'd never flood the Earth again, he sent Lily Baker to us with our own promise.

A promise that we would be okay. A promise that even after such a devastating less, we would survive. A promise that we would laugh again. A promise that Ann Catherine would finally have the sister we so desperately desired for her.

Lily Baker isn't a replacement for Melissa. Any parent who has lost a child knows that notion is just absurd. No one can replace your child. Melissa was her own person. She was uniquely created by God. She was my oldest, beating Ann Catherine into this world by one minute because her life was in danger and she needed to be rescued first.

Her short life changed me profoundly, in ways that I still can't fully explain. She made me a better person, a better wife, a better mother. She taught me that life isn't about how long you are here. It's about what you do with the time you are given.

No, Lily Baker isn't a replacement for Melissa.

She is a beautiful completion.

She completed a family who needed her more than she'll ever know. She brought laughter back into our lives. More importantly, she brought hope into our lives.

Lily Baker opened our eyes to the immense blessings that God wants to bestow on us. She reminded us that we have to be patient and trust that God has a plan for our lives, even when it makes no sense to us. She reminded us that sometimes you have to brave a torrential downpour before you can see your rainbow.

So as we walked Ann Catherine into school on her first day of first grade today, I was okay. Because Lily Baker was there.

It doesn't mean I missed Melissa any less. I would have loved to have watched my twin daughters walk into their first grade classroom hand in hand. But I know that wasn't to be.

But on this special day, Ann Catherine wasn't alone. Her sister was there. The sister God sent us to heal our broken hearts.

She did that today, just as she has countless times before.

How did Ann Catherine do? Oh, she did great. She is pumped to be in first grade!

I was grateful that this year was easier than last. And as we left school, I squeezed Lily Baker a little tighter - so grateful to have her with me. So grateful that on those hard milestone days, where the pain of losing Melissa threatens to engulf us, she is here with us.

So grateful for the rainbow. And so grateful for our promise.

Double Whammy!

2011-08-04T16:54:00.009-05:00

It's my "double whammy" part of the year - but in a good way!!

We're four days away from the start of school and nine days away from Miracle Bash and Swim for Melissa.

I may need to be committed soon.

To say it's crazy at our house is an understatement. However, please don't confuse that with complaining. I am beyond humbled to be able to celebrate both of these milestones.

The start of school = celebration of Ann Catherine's life.

Swim for Melissa = celebration of Melissa's life.

If you haven't visited our website, please do! Just click here.

Here's some exciting news about this year's Swim for Melissa. Lily Baker is old enough to have a team. She named it, very appropriately, "Melissa's Rainbows." Ann Catherine is again team captain of "Melissa's Miracles." They are both so pumped to have their own teams.

To visit Ann Catherine's page, please click here. To visit Lily Baker's page, click here.

My friend and former WHNT co-anchor, Jerry Hayes, was in our NICU last week. He and photographer Gregg Stone are doing a story that will air sometime next week. I don't want to give it away yet, but it will be amazing. It was so good to see my friend!

Hope you can join us for this year's event! For more information on this year's Swim for Melissa and Miracle Bash, visit our Swim for Melissa website. You can also find the Melissa George Neonatal Memorial Fund on Facebook!

Time to Celebrate!

2011-07-18T23:16:00.008-05:00

At last year's Swim for Melissa, Ann Catherine's team came in second place in fundraising. For the team prize, she chose a party at The Matrix Gym!

It's been hard to get everyone's schedules together. This past Sunday, Melissa's Miracles (and their siblings) FINALLY celebrated together!

The eight kids on this team raised $15,000 at last year's Swim for Melissa. I think that's just phenomenal! Each of these children understand WHY they are swimming - and I think that's the most important part.

My sweet niece and nephew even made it to the party. I see this picture of the four of them and I know that Melissa is so proud of her sisters and cousins for helping other babies in memory of her. The only thing that would make it better is if SHE was in this picture with them :)

AC is team captain of Melissa's Miracles. She gave each of her team members an engraved medal at the party as a way of saying thanks. I'm so proud of the young lady she's becoming. She has such a big heart and truly loves helping others. I hope that never changes!

This team will be back together in less than a month to Swim for Melissa again!! I'm so proud of all of them!

So Much Better

2011-07-10T17:08:00.005-05:00

Lily Baker wanted a dog for her birthday. That was back in November.

Since her birthday is during the winter and since we thought we would get a puppy, Chris and I decided to wait until spring to buy the girls a dog. After all, taking a dog out to potty each hour during the freezing cold didn't sound too fun to us.

Spring rolled around, but our doggie plans got delayed. We went to Walt Disney World instead. So, we told LB to wait until summer.

Summer began and we had loads of stuff to do. Dance recital, AC's birthday party and a trip to the beach. No dog just yet.

When we returned home from the beach, LB looked at me and said, "Are we ever getting a dog?"

She had waited long enough. So the search began.

Chris and I decided we wanted to rescue instead. First of all, there are so many dogs who need good homes. Plus, we could bypass the puppy stage of chewing and pooping in the house.

Win-win for us.

I began searching Petfinder.com and found the most precious dog. It was a Saturday and the shelter was already closed. The following Monday, as soon as I dropped the girls off at Vacation Bible School, I drove an hour to the shelter to see her.

She was adorable. She was the size we were looking for. She seemed like she would be good with children (which was THE most important factor for us).

I couldn't take her home that day. We had a jam-packed week full of appointments and I had some shoots I had to do. I didn't want to get a new dog and then leave her alone in the house for most of the week.

I told the lady at the shelter that we couldn't get her until Friday. I came home and told Chris that if she was still there on Friday, then that was our sign that she was meant to be our dog.

I showed the girls a picture of her on my phone and they went nuts. They wanted to go get her that instant! I told them we couldn't, but we would get her on Friday.

That Thursday, I was getting my hair cut and decided to show her picture to my friend and stylist. I went to Petfinder.com and SHE WAS GONE!

I panicked! I called the shelter, but they were closed. I called Chris who told me to calm down because I couldn't do anything until the shelter opened the next morning. My friend tried to reassure me - maybe they had just moved her to another shelter?

But I knew. That dog had been adopted.

I was so sad, but I understood. After all, I had said that would be my sign. I was an adult. I could understand that.

But what about my girls? I knew they would be devestated.

The next morning, Friday morning, Ann Catherine woke up and came running out of her room. "Mommy! We get our dog today!!"

I just looked at Chris and didn't say a word. I took the girls to their last day of VBS and as soon as I got into the car, I called the shelter.

Yes, the lady told me, she had been adopted.

How in the world would I tell my girls? They had been so excited about getting their new dog. I dreaded it so badly.

When I picked them up from VBS, AC immediately asked if we were going to get our dog. I somehow ignored it and got her mind on something else. Later that day, she asked again and I sat her down and told her we needed to talk. I gently told her that another family had adopted the dog before we could get her. She broke down in tears. Actually, more like giant sobs.

I told Ann Catherine that this was a good thing for the dog. After all, she was adopted and that's the goal of every dog in a shelter. But, she couldn't get past the fact that the dog wasn't coming home with us.

I said, "You know what, Ann Catherine? Sometimes in life, we want something so badly and don't get it. It doesn't make any sense to us. But you know what? That means that God has something so much better waiting for us down the road."

I assured her that there was a dog out there waiting for us. We just had to find her. And Chris and I promised her that we would.

I continued to check the Petfinder website almost daily, looking for our dog. Last Tuesday, I found her.

Gigi was part of a family that couldn't take care of her anymore. I immediately emailed the rescue organization asking questions about her. The next morning I heard back from them. She sounded just perfect for us. I called and the lady agreed to meet us on the way back from our vacation the next day. As soon as she pulled up and I saw Gigi, I knew she was our dog. I just needed to see how she would interact with the girls.

They loved her. She was gentle and laid back, but affectionate. I told the lady that we wanted to adopt her. We drove home and bought all of the neccessary supplies that night and I picked her up the next day.

We feel so grateful to have Gigi with us! She is wonderful with my girls and they are learning so much about love and responsibility. She really was the perfect dog for us. And in case you're wondering, Chris had the bow out of her hair about thirty minutes after she got home. He had to draw the line there :)

There's no doubt God had something so much better waiting for us. What a great lesson for all four of us about being patient and trusting God.

Let the fun begin!!

Bunk Beds in Heaven

2011-06-28T13:24:00.004-05:00

I never want to forget the conversation I had with Ann Catherine this morning. So I'm writing it down (or typing it, as the case may be).

It was coming a terrible storm at our house, complete with claps of thunder that made my girls come running to my room in fear. Finally I told Ann Catherine what my mother always told me growing up.

"Thunder just means God's moving his furniture," I relayed to her.

After each clap of thunder, she repeated what I had told her until we finally agreed that apparently God had gotten A LOT of new furniture recently.

"Mommy, what if God is moving his bunk beds?" Then her voice began to rise. "What if he and Melissa share a bunk bed?? What if He sleeps on top and she sleeps on bottom?? How cool is that?" she asked, grinning from ear to ear.

I love how a child's mind works. I love the images that Ann Catherine conjures up of Melissa in Heaven. I love that, in her mind, she and God have these fabulous bunk beds. And more than that, I love that she shares those thoughts with me.

Now if God would just stop moving those bunk beds.... :)

So Blessed to Have Him

2011-06-19T19:49:00.005-05:00

Chris has had to endure things that most fathers his age can't imagine.

Tragedy will do that to you. Losing a child will especially do that to you.

While I was on bedrest with Melissa and Ann Catherine, he came by to see me every morning before work and after work. He would stay with me until it was time to go home and go to bed. On the weekends, we would sleep on the hard sofa in my room. I know it was exhausting for him, but he never complained.

When our girls were born 14 weeks early, he rode in the elevator with them to the NICU as the neonatalogist explained the grim situation. He was holding Melissa when they took me to the NICU to see her for the first time. He loved her so much.

When she died, I told him there was no way I could go the funeral home and make arrangements. I told him to let my parents do it, because I knew he was hurting too. He looked me in the eye and said, "Amy, I'm her daddy. She would expect me to take care of her." So he did. He and my dad went to the funeral home - on our fifth anniversary, no less - and he signed our daughter's death certificate and made arrangements for her service.

I couldn't do it, but he did.

He visited Ann Catherine every day in the NICU. He would go each day before work and then again at lunch (if he could) and in the evenings. He have video of him at her bedside when she was just a few days old. She was so sick she couldn't even open her eyes. You can hear Chris on video telling her over and over again, "It's okay, Ann Catherine. Daddy's here."

And he was.

Those reasons alone would make me love him until the day I die. But luckily for us, it's not the end of the story.

He was there when Lily Baker entered the world. Finally for us, a delivery with a happy ending. He was by my side telling me she was perfect. And healthy. He gave her her first bath in the hospital. He was there every step of the way.

It's the little things when you're a parent. Despite his busy schedule, he never missed one of Ann Catherine's t-ball games this spring. He threw balls to her in the backyard, showing her how to properly hold a bat and use her glove. He goes in their rooms at night, armed with a flashlight to prove there's nothing there to scare them. He passed on his first love of hockey to two little girls who would rather go to the rink than anywhere else.

He has changed as many diapers and given as many baths as I have. He has kissed boo boos, chased away imaginary bad guys and danced in the living room with princesses.

He's everything a Daddy should be and I'm so glad he belongs to us :)

Happy Birthday to You/Anniversary to Me!

2011-06-14T22:23:00.013-05:00

Chris and I celebrated eleven years of marriage recently.

With 20 five and six-year-olds!!

AC's birthday party was on our anniversary. And this year, she wanted a swim party. I booked it at an indoor facility just in case it rained. Instead, it was 96 and sunny! Oh well, if I hadn't, we would have had a monsoon :) That's just the way it works.

Chris and I got to celebrate our anniversary the next night. Luckily for us, my parents watched the girls so we could go have dinner. Alone. It was wonderful.

We don't mind sharing our anniversary, though. Ann Catherine was SO worth it :)

How in the World is she Six??!

2011-06-13T22:33:00.017-05:00

I do not know what is wrong with me, but I am so behind on my blogging!!

I still have pictures of LB playing soccer from March and AC playing t-ball in April and May that I haven't posted. It's bugging me because this will be their scrap book one day. And the Disney trip in April?! I break out in hives at the thought of recapping that one. I AM SO BEHIND!!

Those of you who blog: you know how when you get behind, it just starts weighing you down??

That's how I feel.

So allow me to try and quickly update these last few whirlwind weeks: in a matter of 7 days we had the girls' first recital, AC's birthday and AC's birthday party.

Crazy just ain't the word for it!

Before I get to all the birthday fun, I want to thank you all for lifting us up in prayer on Ann Catherine's birthday. I certainly felt it. God allowed us to have a beautiful day with our daughters. We celebrated Ann Catherine's life AND Melissa's. It was a great day.

The night before, I sat down in the living room to wrap Ann Catherine presents. Everyone was asleep but me and the house was quiet. As I began to wrap those presents, the emotions surrounding Melissa's death rushed over me like a raging tide.

I cried. And I cried. And I cried. It was pretty painful, but I needed it. I look back now and believe God allowed me to "get it out" that night so I wouldn't break down on Ann Catherine's birthday. He's pretty awesome like that.

AC's birthday was great. Six-years-old, how did that happen?! Her trampoline was her main gift, with a few smaller ones sprinkled in. Chris' parents were in town and we enjoyed a great day. The girls and I met Chris for lunch and then I took AC to pick out balloons to send to Melissa. This is the first year I've allowed her to choose them. She chose three and Lily Baker chose three. When Chris got home we sent them to her. In the five years we have done this, it's never rained. Not just that, but we've had cloudless blue skies. Each year, we've been able to watch those balloons sail upwards until they are completely out of site.

Again, God is just awesome like that. He cares enough about a grieving mommy and daddy to give us blue skies on the day that we send our balloons to our daughter. I am just overwhelmed by it all!

I took the girls to get a manicure and pedicure. AC and I have done this on her birthday since she was four. This year, she wanted LB to come with us. LB was so excited! They had a great time!! We capped off the evening with dinner at AC's favorite restaurant.

So as you can see, June 1st was a beautiful day. We had an incredible day with Ann Catherine and Lily Baker, and we felt Melissa's spirit every moment of the day. I am so grateful for that.

Coming up next, I'll recap AC's birthday party and our recent trip to the beach. And at some point, I'll meander all the way back to March to prove that LB DID play soccer! At what point does the statute of limitations run out on blog posts??!

Recitals and Trampolines

2011-05-31T13:34:00.011-05:00

Ann Catherine has wanted a trampoline for a long, long time.

Chris and I finally gave in :)

We bought it for her birthday, which is tomorrow. We decided to surprise her with it so this weekend Chris and his dad put it together while I took her somewhere. I called him as we pulled into our neighborhood and he was in the backyard with camera rolling when she came outside and saw her trampoline for the first time.

I could not love this video more!!! Do you think she's excited?! :)

Also this weekend: the girls first dance recital! The beach baby and calendar girl did great! And yes, Lily Baker's bow is bigger than her head :) I'm quite sure it was Chris' first dance recital - and he survived! We gave the girls flowers when it was over and then went to one of their favorite restaurants. It was perfect!

Lastly, my blogging friends, please keep our family in your prayers. Tomorrow is Ann Catherine and Melissa's birthday and the anniversary of Melissa's death. Those of you who have read my blog know the range of emotions we feel on that day. Please pray for peace and a wonderful day that will allow us to celebrate Ann Catherine AND Melissa's lives. I appreciate you all so much!!

Goodbye Kindergarten!

2011-05-26T11:55:00.008-05:00

As I tucked Ann Catherine in Tuesday night, I told her I couldn't believe this school year was almost over. It just seems like yesterday that Chris and I walked her into her kindergarten class on the first day of school. Since she was our oldest child, it seemed like such a huge step. And now here we are closing the book on that chapter.

I went back last night and read that post from a year ago. It brought tears to my eyes thinking of the pain I felt when I left Ann Catherine at school on that first morning. No, I wasn't sad that she was starting kindergarten. In fact, I didn't even cry for her.

I cried for Melissa.

I cried because we took one child to school that morning to start kindergarten instead of two.

Now here we are nine months later and what a year it's been. AC can do things that she couldn't do nine months ago. Read. Spell words. Count coins.

I also learned some things about her. She is tougher than I thought. She doesn't need me every minute of the day. Her independence has multiplied.

But it's more than that. It's the overwhelming sense of gratitude I have that she's here. How incredibly blessed we are that almost six years after entering the world 14 weeks early and weighing less than two pounds, that she even had the chance to go to kindergarten.

To celebrate her last day, we went to get ice cream with our friends. The girls had a blast!

A great ending to a great school year :)

Chocolate in Heaven!

2011-05-22T23:23:00.006-05:00

I went to the funeral of a dear sweet family friend this evening. I didn't want to tell Ann Catherine I was going to a funeral because she is so sensitive to death after what happened to Melissa. So I told her I was going to see a good friend of Mimi's (my mom) and our family who was sick and was going to Heaven soon.

"Oh!" she smiled. "She's going to see Melissa!"

"That's right," I told her. Then she looked at me as if she were the adult and I was the child and said, "You know, Mommy, it's a good thing that she's going to Heaven. She'll see Toby, Melissa, and Mimi and Poppy's parents." Toby, by the way, is our neighbor's dog who died last year. My girls took it pretty hard. I agreed with her and wondered how my five-year-old was so much wiser than me at times.

She followed me into my bathroom where I began putting on my makeup. She pulled up a stool next to me and said, "I wonder if she'll see the big bubble gum machine when she gets there?"

"What?" I asked. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Mimi's friend who's going to Heaven. I wonder if she'll see the big bubble gum machine when she gets there?" She looked at me bewildered, as if thinking, 'Seriously Mommy, how can you NOT know about the bubble gum machine in Heaven???'

I smiled and said, "Well, I didn't know there was a bubble gum machine in Heaven. What else is there?"

"A big chocolate factory," she said with a smile that took over her face.

I don't know what Heaven is going to be like, but how cool does AC's version sound?!

I decided I should remind AC of the real reason why we should look forward to Heaven. "Who else will be there?" I asked. "Jesus!" she answered.

Then she said, "Mommy, when I get to Heaven I'm going to find Melissa. Then I'm going to run to her and throw my arms around her and hug her and say, 'Melissaaaa!'"

I smiled at the thought of it. "I think I'll do the same thing," I told her.

And after we exchange hugs, Melissa will take us by the hand and lead us to the chocolate factory. What an awesome day that will be :)

Put Down that List!

2011-05-13T13:52:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was an “errand day.” I had a list of things that Lily Baker and I needed to do and we needed to do them before we picked Ann Catherine up from school.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a list person. I love love love a list. And I love marking things off as I do them. I even put “wake up” and “go to bed” on my list just so I can cross them off.

Okay, I don’t really do that. I’m not that bad. Yet.

Chris helped me out yesterday morning by taking AC to school. As soon as they left, I informed LB that I had get ready.

“Will you watch Snow White with me, Mommy?” she asked. The movie had just started.

“Lily Baker, Mommy has to get ready. We have lots of things to do today!”

“Please Mommy! Pleeeeeease!” she pleaded.

I started cleaning the kitchen. She asked at least five more times. As she usually does, she finally wore me down.

“Okay, but I can only watch a little of it,” I told her. “Mommy has to get ready. We’ve got to get going!”

“No, Mommy,“ she informed me. “You have to watch the WHOLE movie.”

The next thing I knew, we were halfway through it. As we snuggled on the sofa, LB provided commentary.

“Mama, that’s Sneezy. See, he sneezes a lot.”

“Mama, look at Dopey. He’s crazy.”

“Mama, that Queen is mean! God DOES NOT love her.”

“Mama, this is where Snow White eats the poisoned apple.”

“Mama, this is where her prince comes!”

We watched the entire movie. It was wonderful. I don’t think I’ve watched Snow White in thirty years. Then I got ready and we went on our merry way.

How many special moments do I miss with my kids because I’m in such a hurry to cross things off a list? I mean, thanks to LB’s persistence, I actually had a conversation with my daughter that went like this: “Well, God DOES love the wicked queen. He just doesn’t love what she’s doing to Snow White.” Oh yes, I did.

And you know what? We still got a lot done after the movie.

Did I cross everything off my list yesterday?

No, I didn’t.

Was it completely worth blowing off to watch Snow White with LB?

Absolutely.

'This' is Wonderful

2011-05-10T15:38:00.003-05:00

You know how sometimes your kids say things and you think, "I have to write this down!"

You do it partly so you won't forget it. You also do it so when they hit puberty and go from thinking you're the greatest person on Earth to thinking you're an idiot, you'll remember how much they once loved you. :)

I had one of those moments yesterday.

We were sitting at the kitchen table after school. Ann Catherine was working on her homework and Lily Baker was eating mac and cheese. It was just one of those neat moments. The house was quiet, sunlight was streaming through my kitchen window and I was with my girls. I silently thanked God for allowing me to have this time with them.

About two seconds later Lily Baker said, "Mommy, let's all tell what's been our favorite part of the day. I'll go first."

"Okay," I said. I waited to hear some cute story of her playing with her friends at school that morning.

"This," she said simply. "What?" I asked. I didn't know what she was talking about.

"This!" she said, getting a little irritated. I just looked at her, still confused.

"This, mama," she explained. "Just being here with you."

I didn't know what to say. I was so touched, especially coming from Lily Baker. She's not my sentimental child.

"Me too," I told her. "'This' is my favorite thing today too."

And it was, because 'this' is perfect.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T23:34:00.007-05:00

My day started off the best way possible. My two favorite little people shuffled into our bedroom and crawled in bed with us.

AC snuggled up next to me. As soon as I opened my eyes she said, "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!"

I love that child. No prompting or reminders from Chris. She just woke up and remembered.

Chris snuck out of bed and retreated to the kitchen. AC informed me that she couldn't tell me what he was doing, but I was pretty sure I knew. A little while later, when he returned with eggs and bacon on a tray my hopes were confirmed.

Then the girls stole all my bacon. Ah, the life of a mother... :)

It was a beautiful day. The girls gave me their cards - complete with their precious writing - and a spa gift card. Oooh la la! :)

My favorite gift came Friday when AC got home from school. She made me a cute little cup in art class. I'll put my jewelry in it while I cook.

Homemade gifts from your kids are the best!! I told her I wouldn't take a million dollars for it. My mother still has the plate I painted for her in kindergarten on display. And she still uses my sister's ceramic handprint as a spoon rest when she cooks. There are some things that you never get rid of. This is one of those things!

After church we had lunch with my parents. How special for me to spend Mother's Day with my children and my mom. Just perfect.

I thought of Melissa often today. I missed her immensely, but I had a peace that I haven't always had on Mother's Day. I felt her with us all day long, but I didn't feel that sadness that often invades my heart. Instead, I just felt so incredibly grateful for what God has given me.

A husband who loves me with all of his heart. Two daughters who fill my heart with more love than I ever thought possible. And another daughter who I KNOW I will see again one day.

I can't ask for more.

I am constantly reminded of God's love for our family. I am constantly reminded of how he never left us during the worst storm of our lives. I am constantly reminded of the miracle of Ann Catherine's life. I am constantly reminded of the rainbow he sent when he gave us Lily Baker. I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am to be the daughter of three amazing little girls.

But never more than on Mother's Day.

Our First Day Volunteering

2011-05-07T21:39:00.003-05:00

The night the tornadoes roared across Alabama, we lost power not long after 5:30 p.m.

It will be on in a little while, I thought. Luckily we had a battery-operated clock radio which continued to feed us information. As the night went on, it didn't sound good. Apparently TVA had suffered some damage. Just before we went to bed we heard it could be 5-7 days before we had power.

5-7 days??!

When we awoke the next morning, that information was confirmed. The thought of living without power with two small children for 5-7 days seemed a daunting task so we decided to load up and head out of town.

Our first thought was to head to Tuscaloosa where my parents have a place. Remember, we hadn't watched television coverage since 5:30 p.m. the night before. We had no idea that Tuscaloosa was in shambles. Once we learned that horrible news, we decided to head to the beach - where our closest family lived.

As we drove south, we listened to the radio and heard the harrowing reports of how badly our state had been damaged. I looked at Chris and said, "I feel so guilty heading to the beach while so many people are hurting." He agreed, but felt there wasn't much we could do at that point with two little girls in tow.

Once we reached the beach, we turned on the television. We were astounded by the devastation in Tuscaloosa and the Birmingham area. Then Chris turned on our laptop and we saw the destruction that happened in our own county and in nearby Hackleburg and Phil Campbell.

We couldn't believe what we were seeing.

We enjoyed our time away - the girls got to play with their cousins which is the greatest thing ever in their books - but a heaviness hung over us. We mourned the lives lost, we cried over video we had seen and stories we had read, we hurt for those who had lost everything.

And I continued to feel guilty.

Friends of mine pitched in to help victims. As I read their stories and emails, I felt such admiration for them and knew that once I got home, I wanted to help.

We finally did today.

Chris and I went to a church in the Harvest area where they were handing out supplies to people in need. We got to pack up what they needed, then personally deliver it to their cars.

To say it was uplifting was an understatement. It was so touching to look these people in the eye, load supplies into their cars and give them encouraging words.

The very last person we helped seemed to be in a daze. She had a two-month-old child and as we loaded things into her car, her thoughts seemed to be somewhere else. I told her of the things we were giving her and she said little in return. She almost seemed numb.

As we loaded the last thing into her car, she grabbed me and hugged me and thanked me. It was a spontaneous outburst of emotion. We hugged her back and wished her the best.

As we pulled away, I said to Chris, "Did that last lady seem..."

"In shock?" he said, taking the words right out of my mouth. "Yes!" I said. "Amy," he answered, "we have no idea what she has been through. We don't know if she lost her home or not. And she has a two-month-old child to care for. She's probably scared to death."

I hope that somehow the kindness of strangers gave her hope. Not just from us, but the kindness of those who donated the supplies that would help her family. The kindness of those whose hands sorted those supplies long before she had received them. The kindness of those who had put in untold hours to help people like her.

Chris and I haven't even done a sliver of the work that most of you have this week. As we drove home I told him I knew we had only skimmed the surface during those hours this afternoon, but that brief work has given me a burning desire to do it again. I feel as if I have an actual hunger to go out and help the victims of this horrifying disaster. And I can't wait to find the many opportunities that lie ahead.

My hat is off to those of you who have spent countless hours volunteering this week. To those of you who left the comforts of your own home to help others. To those of you who worked on your off days instead of relaxing at home. For every tree you cut, limb you pulled, meal you cooked, item you sorted and hug you handed out, you have made a difference in the life of someone who is hurting.

You have shown the love of Christ in a mighty way. You may never know the impact you've had on the people you have helped.

You have proven that actions really do speak louder than words.

The Tooth Fairy Came Back!!

2011-05-06T20:27:00.006-05:00

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I blogged about Ann Catherine losing her first tooth? Haven't had that much excitement at the George household since Chris came foot first through Lily Baker's closet (but that's a post for another time)!

Last night, another tooth started wiggling.

I'll let you in on a little secret about myself. I have been pooped on, peed on, spit up on and thrown up on by my kids. And I am fine with that. Didn't miss a beat.

But, I CANNOT pull a tooth!

Can't do it. I don't know what it is, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Just the thought of yanking that tooth out gives me the willies.

Luckily, I married a hockey player.

He grabbed a kleenex and started pulling. AC began to cry and came running to find her lamby. I told her just to wait and let it come out on its own. But she wanted that sucker out so she went running back. This time Chris pulled and out it came!

When the tooth fairy took her first tooth, she was a little bummed. I had shown her a little container for her first tooth that someone gave her when she was a baby and she really wanted to put it in there. So Chris and I told her that the tooth fairy always brings back your first tooth, but you never know when it's going to happen.

It happened last night! She brought AC a card with her first tooth inside - and a dollar for losing her second tooth!

Does it get any better for a five-year-old??!

Now she's really a Snaggletooth with that big gap in the middle. And she could not be happier!

Hackleburg is Gone

2011-05-04T20:16:00.007-05:00

Hackleburg, Alabama is just a little dot on the map.

It's a tiny town (population 1,516) where everyone knows everyone. There was one Pharmacy, one grocery store, one manufacturing plant, one high school.

Now all of that is gone. Gone. As in, wiped off the map. The EF-5 tornado that slammed through the city last Wednesday with 200 miles per hour winds took care of that. So far 17 people have been confirmed dead and others are still missing. Rescue workers are still finding bodies there.

My dad grew up in this tiny little town. My precious grandparents helped start a church there that they attended until the day they died. They are both buried there.

My aunt and uncle and cousins still live there. The good news is they are all alive. The bad news is my aunt and uncle lost their home when a tree fell through it. Luckily they have insurance, but it can't be easy to start over in your seventies.

Please pray for the people of this small town. Not only have they lost their homes and loved ones, most of them have lost their jobs since everything there was destroyed. Please pray that they won't be forgotten!

My grandfather passed away in 2006. It would have broken his heart to see his town reduced to ruins. Please pray for those in this tiny town who are dealing with the aftermath of one of mother nature's deadliest blows.

Pray for Alabama

2011-04-29T10:10:00.003-05:00

Except for a year and a half in Florida, I have lived in Alabama all of my life.

I have hunkered down and ridden out tornadoes in bathtubs and closets more times than I can count. As a reporter at Channel 19, I chased them - usually fearlessly - for eleven years. I have interviewed people who have lost their homes, their loved ones and all of their possessions because of deadly twisters. I have seen destruction that looked like a war zone.

But I have never witnessed anything like what happened Wednesday.

I still find it hard to fathom what happened to our wonderful state. I know the pictures and video don't do it justice.

My best friend lives in Tuscaloosa. She's a nurse and she worked in the Emergency Room the night of the deadly tornadoes. She said she had never seen anything so horrific. So many adults, children and babies lost their lives.

She told me I won't recognize Tuscaloosa when we go back in the fall for football games.

That breaks my heart.

I absolutely love Tuscaloosa. My four years there were incredible. I love the University of Alabama. I love the historic town. I love the people there. I love everything about it.

And now, so much of it is gone.

But those things can be rebuilt. It won't be easy, and it will never be the same, but Tuscaloosa will arise from these ashes. I have no doubt about that.

What breaks my heart even more are the people who tragically lost their lives. The adults. The babies and childrens. The students. I can't imagine what it must be like as a parent to leave your home in another city, another state and travel to Tuscaloosa to search for your child. Or worse, identify his or her body.

Seven people in my own county lost their lives Wednesday. People who - just like me - were going about their daily routines that day. By nighttime, their lives were over.

It's hard to imagine that.

As Lily Baker fell asleep next to me last night, I felt her breathing. And with tears in my eyes, I thanked God that my child was breathing. And not only that, but that she was right there with me and that I could hear her breathing.

Some parents will never hear their children breathe again.

Please pray for the people of our state. We will rebuild and we will come back stronger than ever. But it is going to be a long road.

More than anything, pray for those who will spend the weekend preparing funerals for those they love.

Take a moment today to tell the people in your life that you love them. And thank God for another day with them.

Life is fragile. Alabamians learned that this week.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T21:17:00.013-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. If you live near us, how could you not with the sunshine and warm weather?!

We had a wonderful day. Here are some of my favorite moments:

The girls in their beautiful Easter dresses. They loved getting dressed up for church!

Attending the Easter Egg Hunt down the street at our friends' house. Easter eggs and good friends - how can you beat that?!

Meeting the Easter Bunny!

Fun moments with these Four Musketeers. They had a blast all afternoon!

And a thanks to Miss Brooke for hosting such a fabulous shindig!

And my greatest reminder of what Easter truly means - the tree we planted soon after Melissa died.

Easter represents hope to my family. We WILL be with her again one day! I love you, my sweet angel :)

Happy Easter everyone!

Spring has Sprung!

2011-04-23T18:21:00.009-05:00

And oh, am I a happy camper!

I love this time of year. The gray dreariness of winter is gone and everything is renewed - what a perfect time for Easter this year!

I've been looking forward to today for a while - a Saturday with no t-ball, no soccer, no birthday parties, no activities. Chris and I decided we would plant our flowers.

But before we could do that, we dyed Easter Eggs this morning. The girls love doing this with Chris. We decided on pastel colors this year and the girls loved getting their eggs the "perfect" color.

After that, we headed outside to plant. Chris built a vegetable garden in the backyard for me last weekend. Today he planted tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, squash and strawberries. I can't wait until it's ready! There is nothing better than fresh vegetables from the garden.

From there, we went to the front yard. LB is my little gardner. She LOVES planting flowers, which thrills my dad to no end. My dad loves working in the garden. He has the most beautiful flowers and has always has a vegetable garden. When we go to my mom and dad's house LB says, "Come on Poppy! Let's go work in the garden!" (Now if she just goes to pharmacy school that will be a double whammy for him! :)

She was so excited today to help plant flowers. She loved digging the holes for Chris. Then after he planted them, she'd water them.

AC, on the other hand, isn't quite as crazy about gardening. Within a few moments, she started saying, "Mommy, I'm thirsty" or "Mommy, I need a popsicle." Her favorite part was playing with the water hose once we were finished. :) I love these pictures of LB chasing her with the water!

After that, we went back to the backyard and got out the water sprinkler. As the girls ran through the sprinkler, squealing with delight, I thought it's funny how we spend so much money buying our kids the "right" toys when a backyard water sprinkler makes them happier than anything.

And the cherry on top of the sundae? The ice cream truck came through our neighborhood! The girls both got a popsicle.

What a perfect ending to a perfect day!

My Toothless Wonder

2011-04-18T22:06:00.005-05:00

I was going to post today about our awesome Spring Break trip to Walt Disney World, but then something even more awesome happened at our house.

Ann Catherine lost her first tooth today!

What a big deal that is to a five-year-old. Quite a few kids in her class have lost their teeth and it's driven her crazy. Last week at WDW, she kept asking "Mommy, is this tooth loose?" After I answered no for the 50th time, I told her it would happen when it was time to happen.

Last night at Bible Study at our friends' house, our sitter who was watching the kids in another room brought her to me and said she had a loose tooth. AC was pumped!

Once we got home, it was wiggling all over the place. Chris kept asking her to let him pull it, but she wanted no part of that! Her excitement quickly turned to apprehension and she kept asking if it would hurt when it fell out.

This morning I was shooting some videos at church when I got a voicemail from AC at school. "Mommy, I lost my first tooth!" she said. It started bugging her this morning, so she let her teacher pull it. "It didn't even hurt!" she told me when LB and I picked her up this afternoon. Let me tell you, she's wearing that gap in her teeth like a badge of honor! :)

It's an exciting milestone in the life of my child, but it's also made me a little sad. Losing a tooth is another step towards independence.

She's losing her baby teeth. That means she's not a baby anymore.

That snaggletooth smile means she's growing up.

Which is Better?

2011-03-30T21:20:00.002-05:00

Making brownies with Mommy on a Sunday afternoon...

...or licking the bowl clean once you're finished??!!

See the smiles below for the girls' answer! :)

My Blogcation

2011-03-28T23:05:00.005-05:00

"You need to update your blog."

Chris and I were sitting under our pergola a couple of weekends ago. It was warm and evident that Spring was on the way. He reminded me that I had gone weeks without blogging.

"I know," I answered. "I just needed a little break."

I didn't really plan on taking a break. It just happened. Life became crazy. In a matter of weeks, we went through strep throat, bad colds and a stomach bug at our house. One of my freelancing jobs kicked into serious high gear. The girls added some activities, which meant more running around for mommy. I couldn't even think about blogging.

I've always loved blogging, but I needed a little break. Over the last few weeks, I'd plan on blogging at night and then once I finished my work, I was so tired I just went to bed.

This means I have LOTS to bring you all up to speed on. In the meantime, I'll start with what happened Friday or as I told my mom, "One of the top 5 things on my list of things that make me happy."

I took Lily Baker to have lunch at school with Ann Catherine for the first time. Boy, did that four-year-old think she was big time!

I don't know who was happier, AC or LB. LB was pumped about going to Sissy's school. AC was pumped that she was coming.

So here's the most precious part. Lily Baker walked in line to the cafeteria with Ann Catherine and her class and AC held her hand the whole way. When we got to the food line Ann Catherine said, "Do you want white milk or chocolate?" and helped LB with her selection.

That's AC. My little mommy.

They sat together at the table. It made my heart smile.

It's just one of those life moments where you think, "I really must be the luckiest person alive."

I'm so grateful for my girls and how much they love each other. It was just a fun day.

More to come later!

Rainy Days and Mondays

2011-02-28T15:07:00.011-06:00

Chris called late this morning to see how our morning went.

"Awful," I answered. "But it wasn't Lily Baker. It was Ann Catherine."

This was quite the role reversal. AC, like her Daddy, is a morning person and wakes up happy. LB, like her mother, would be just fine if morning passed right on by and the day started around 10.

Ann Catherine was worn out this morning. She got out of bed 15 minutes after I started waking her up and then just moved herself from the bed to the couch. She wouldn't eat her breakfast and just moaned and cried about how tired she was.

I knew it was coming. She was up twice during the night: once to use the bathroom and once because Lamby got wedged between the sheets and cover and she couldn't find her. I was roused out of bed at 4:05 a.m. to pull Lamby to safety.

She had a busy weekend. Saturday she played all day with her friends, Sunday she got up way too early and had a birthday party right after church.

She was just worn out.

She had an activity after school, but I decided this morning we would blow it off. She's five. Those things can wait.

Then about an hour before LB and I picked her up from school, I had a brilliant idea. I baked AC's favorite - chocolate chip cookies! - and she came home to nice, warm cookies.

And that's the story of how we ate cookies - before dinner - on a Monday
afternoon.

The girls laughed and laughed. Partly from the sugar high and partly from looking at LB wearing the new giant batting helmet my nephew Will gave her this weekend.

And soon the plate went from this...

to this...

to this.

They ate every last one of them. (I might have had two or three.)

And it was awesome.

Here We Go Again

2011-02-24T16:04:00.007-06:00

No one's going to invite us over anymore.

A few weeks ago, I took LB to my friend Kera's so she could play with Kera's little boy while we drank coffee and gabbed.

That night, LB came down with a stomach virus. Luckily, no one at Kera's house got it but I still felt terrible!

Last night, Chris and I needed to attend the funeral home to see a friend whose brother passed away. My friend Jammie was gracious enough to let my kids come over and play with her little ones.

During the middle of the night, AC started complaining that her throat hurt. A trip to the doctor this morning confirmed she had strep.

As long as she didn't drink after Jammie's kids they should be fine, but I still feel so bad. Of course, you can't know when your kids are going to be sick but mine seem to do it after they've spent hours in the faces of someone else's children. :)

AC got a shot and already seems to be feeling better. I didn't think the nurse and I were going to be able to hold her down. But the shot just works so much faster than antiobiotics. The 10 seconds of hysteria is worth it to me for her to start feeling better faster.

Before the shot I promised to take her to her favorite place - Peggy Ann Bakery - for a treat when it was all over. I snapped this picture and sent it to Chris. His reply read,

"That makes it all better."

Yes, butterfly cookies with piles of icing make everything better.

Even shots.

Exercise, Finally!

2011-02-19T08:50:00.002-06:00

When our girls were younger, and spring began to usher its way back into our lives, Chris and I had a nightly ritual.

After dinner, we would load the girls up in the double stroller and hit the pavement. My short legs struggled to keep us with Chris as he pushed the stroller. We would power walk. I was still working full-time outside the home back then, so it was a great way for me to clear my head from my hectic day. Chris and I would talk about our day while the girls took in the world around them. More than anything, it was great exercise!

Then they became mobile.

And our power walks turned into leisurely strolls as the girls stopped every three steps to check something out: a flower, a tree, a dead bug. It was amazing to watch them explore God's creation. But burning calories? Not so much.

No more. The exercise is back!

My girls love riding their bikes and they've gotten pretty good at it. Yesterday after school, we grabbed a snack and refueled. Then the girls hopped on their bikes and away we went. I walked behind them and all of a sudden I realized it: I wasn't just walking. I was swiftly walking. I was exercising!

Sometimes almost to the extreme. Lily Baker is a speed demon. I'm quite sure I yelled out at least 15 times, "LB, slow down!"

Then she would hit the brakes and AC would plow into her.

We obviously still have a little work to do.

No matter. I have found a way to exercise and still spend time with my kids. It was awesome!

So bring it on, Spring! We're tired of being cooped up and the house looking like a tornado blew throught it. (On second thought, the house is going to look like that regardless of the weather, so disregard that last part.) I'm ready to chase my kids through the neighborhood with the sun at my back.

We are ready for Spring!

Highlight of My Day

2011-02-18T09:56:00.003-06:00

Yesterday Lily Baker and I went to the mall to buy some gifts. We hit the Food Court afterwards for lunch.

We sat next to each other and as she dug into her chicken nuggets, she threw her arm around my neck and said,

"Best. Day. Ever."

Me too :)

Her First Cry

2011-02-16T19:39:00.007-06:00

The four of us were laying in Lily Baker's bed tonight. We had just finished the devotional and bedtime story and LB was about to pray.

"Wait," said Ann Catherine. "Mommy, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," I answered.

She sat up and looked me straight in the eye. "When did Melissa die?"

I took a deep breath and answered, "Just a few hours after she was born."

"Did I know?" she asked. "No," Chris answered. "You were so sick, baby." "And tiny," I added. "You were too young to know what was going on."

We all sat in silence for a couple of seconds. Then she began to cry. And as it built up, those cries turned into sobs. Deep, heavy sobs. Tears rolled down her face as she cried out loud.

It was a first for us. We've talked about Melissa to Ann Catherine for the past two years. She has asked questions and listened to our answers.

But this was a first. It was the first time she had ever cried about her sister's death.

Chris reached out for her, but she wanted her mother. I crawled over and held her as she sobbed. It was as if all of the sadness and uncertainty finally began to spill from her little, 5-year-old body.

As I held her, I thought of all of the things we usually say to her about Melissa. Those phrases raced through my mind:

She's in Heaven.

She's with Jesus.

We'll see her again one day.

But nothing came out. I couldn't speak. Instead, I just held her and cried with her.

"Can she come back to Earth?" Ann Catherine asked between sobs. She's asked that question countless times. She knows the answer, but she asked it anyway.

"No, baby," Chris answered. "But we will see her again. And it will be the greatest reunion."

But that didn't satisfy her.

"I want her to come back," she cried. "I want to see my sister."

"So do I," I told her. "We all do."

All week Lily Baker has been a pill. She has an iron will and we've had more than one standoff. At times this week I've wished she could be more caring and sweeter.

When it counted, she was.

She came over to us, and put her arms around Ann Catherine. AC cried out, "I miss my sister!" and Lily Baker answered, "I'm right here, Sissy."

"And we're so grateful you are," I told her.

I've often wondered when it would hit Ann Catherine, really hit her. When would the enormity of losing her twin become real to her? When would she go from talking about her to grieving her?

It happened tonight. It was hard. And it was painful. As a mother, you never want your children to hurt. During those moments, I would have given anything to take that pain away from Ann Catherine.

But I can't erase what happened to Melissa. And I can't erase the enormous impact it will have on our family for the rest of our lives. I would love nothing more than to change those events and take that sadness and sorrow out of Ann Catherine's life.

But I can't.

I'm just glad we've handled Melissa's death in a way that Ann Catherine's feels comfortable asking about her. And crying about her. As I held her tonight as she cried, I thought back to all of those times that Chris has held me as I did the same.

And isn't that what family is about? I know we have a lot of tears in our future. Tonight was just the first of many cries AC is going to have over the loss of her sister. It's the first of many cries we'll have together.

And when that happens, we'll hold each other. It's all we can do.

My Valentine Saves the Day

2011-02-13T23:05:00.005-06:00

End of my rope. Physically tired. Mentally exhausted. Just plain worn out.

All of the above sums up how I felt last week. If you'll recall, the stomach bug hit while Chris was out of town. I didn't get a lot of sleep. And we were cooped up in the house. By the time he returned, everyone was well but it was time to start a new week. My part time jobs were requiring a lot of my time. And Lily Baker decided this was the perfect week to try me in every way.

By the time Thursday rolled around, I was done. I remember thinking, "If I could just have two hours to myself!"

That evening Chris and I were in the bedroom and I was picking things up. Of the five drawers on his dresser, four weren't closed all the way. It's a habit of his, but with my sleep deprivation and general crankiness, it bugged me more than usual.

As I pushed them all in, I blurted out, "I need a vacation!"

He answered, "You have a massage scheduled for one o'clock tomorrow. You need to arrive at 12:45."

I looked at him in amazement. "I do???" I asked. He confirmed and I hugged him. Oh my word, happy days are here again.

I went and it was awesome. I ran into a dear friend and at the end of my massage I learned she left me an "anonymous" gift: quiet time in the tranquility room with a plate of chocolates and a glass of wine.

Are you kidding me???!

As I munched on my chocolate pretzel in this tranquility room, wrapped in my soft oversized robe, I realized why this was all so wonderful to me.

He got it.

Chris saw that I was drowning, and he threw me a rope.

He knew I was tired. He knew I just needed a few hours of alone time to recharge my batteries. Just a little peace and quiet without anyone wanting anything from me.

I didn't have to ask for it.

He just knew.

It made me love him even more.

Later that night he took me to dinner to a fabulous new restaurant in town. It was so wonderful to have uninterrupted time with him, to actually finish a conversation! After having our special night, we spent Saturday night at home with our girls. After dinner, the girls asked if we could have family game night and we said yes.

My favorite moment of the Valentine's Day weekend occured when Jerry Hayes called Chris' cell during our game. I heard Chris said, "I can't talk right now. I'm playing Princess Yahtzee and I'm Cinder-schmelly!" The girls laughed and I realized at that moment that I may truly be the luckiest person alive.

It would have made sense for Chris to have boys. A former athlete himself, he could have taught those boys so much. But little boys were not part of God's plan for us. Instead he blessed us with this world of little girls. Chris has thrown himself into his role: giving Ann Catherine ice skating tips when she gets home from her lessons, teaching AC and LB how to smack a baseball in our back yard, taking them to hockey games and teaching them all about the game he loves. But in the same breath, he can act like Princess Yahtzee is the most exciting game he's ever played and he can be "Prince Charming" to Lily Baker's Cinderella as he twirls her around the den.

They are so lucky to have him. And so am I.

That night I told the girls all about our date Friday night. They took it all in with eyes wide and smiles on their faces. I asked them if they knew why Daddy did those things for me.

AC: Because it's Valentine's Day.
CG: Not just that. It's because I love your mommy.
AC: You promised to always love her when you married her.
CG: That's right.
AC: Will you always love me?
CG: Always.
AC: Will you always love Lily Baker?
CG: Always.
AC: Will you always love Melissa?
CG: Always.

We are four lucky girls.

Get on the Bus!

2011-02-10T22:12:00.005-06:00

I rode on a yellow school bus for the first time since high school this week. Boy, did that bring back some memories of rowdy bus trips. :)

I was a chaperone on Ann Catherine's field trip. My first one ever, by the way. The first of many, I'm sure.

We sat together on the bus...

...and at the concert.

I don't know who was more excited - her or me :)

LB cried that morning because she thought we were actually going on a trip. Then once she got to Mimi and Poppy's house and realized she had the place to herself while AC was at school, she got over it pretty soon.

Oh, what sweet memories... :)

If Dad's Away...

2011-02-07T21:35:00.002-06:00

It is a rule. I don't know where it is written, but it's a rule.

If your husband's away, all you-know-what is going to break out at your house.

Just count on it. It's as sure as the sun rising in the morning. Or your child throwing up at night.

Ahh, that was our home during Chris' recent trip.

We had gone through our nightly ritual. I bathed them, read their devotional, read their bedtime story, tucked them in and kissed them on their sweet-smelling heads.

Then I retired to my recliner and plopped myself down, ready for some peace and quiet.

Not two minutes later, I heard Lily Baker screaming. I ran in her bedroom. And it was everywhere.

All over her, all over her pjs, all over her sheets. So I grabbed her and tried to get her to the bathroom. That's when she went all projectile on me and it was now also all over her floor.

I surveyed the damage and for a split second wondered, "Where do I start???"

After a quick prayer (something like "Lord, please take over!") I started with her. I got her cleaned up. Then I stripped her bed, rinsed her sheets and put them in the washing machine. Then I started to clean the carpet and I couldn't find any carpet cleaner! After rummaging through the cabinets, I finally found some. And as I scrubbed her carpets, I vaguely remember wanting to strangle Chris for not being here.

Now let me digress and give my shout out to single parents and military spouses: You are amazing! Seriously, you are my heroes. I don't know how you do it. My one bad night doesn't even compare to what you do day in and day out.

Still, I wanted to cry.

We finally got back in bed, and thirty minutes later she did it again. And I had to change her sheets. Again.

Oh I forgot - in the midst of this, Ann Catherine woke up and was standing at Lily Baker's door crying. I'm scrubbing it out of the carpet and saying, "Ann Catherine, DON'T come in here!" which I'm sure made it worse for her, but I didn't want her anywhere near what was going on.

Once I got Lily Baker's bed ready again, I climbed in bed with her because the fear of my girls throwing up as they are laying down in bed is much worse than my fear of getting their stomach virus. And about each hour until 2am she got sick. Finally, she stopped.

Then she woke up at 4:30 crying because she was thirsty. And this went on until about 6am.

Luckily, after 2am she never got sick again. And so far, AC and I have been spared.

The next afternoon, I washed what felt like the 15th load of laundry while she got some much needed rest. While I put clean sheets back on her bed in my quiet house, I thought: How many times did my mother go through this when we were little? How many times did she clean up Lord knows what, wash loads of sick-stained laundry and crawl in bed with sick children?

And most of all, did I ever realize it?

I do now. Now that I'm a mom, I am so appreciative of all she did for us. Things we never noticed. Things my girls don't notice now either.

But they will one day.

In the meantime, I let Chris know that I would be leaving for a week when he got home. Of course, I didn't.

But a girl can dream, can't she?!

Where Would I Be?

2011-02-02T13:37:00.004-06:00

This week I was emailing a mom who just had the first anniversary of her daughter's death. In my email, I told her that those of us who have lost children are part of a fraternity that we would never have chosen to join. Instead, we were chosen.

I began to think of this later. I thought of all of the amazing, remarkable, strong and resilient women I have met on this journey. Women just like me who had to do the unthinkable - say goodbye to their children.

And I wondered, where would my life be if we had never lost Melissa?

It's a question filled with a host of emotions. I would have three children on this Earth, not just two. I would have twins daughters growing up together, sharing that bond that only twins can understand. I wouldn't carry this hole in my heart that sometimes threatens to weigh me down. Birthdays wouldn't be hard. Mother's Day wouldn't be hard. The first day of school wouldn't be hard. My kids wouldn't know about death and loss at such a young age. Chris wouldn't know what it means to sign your daughter's death certificate on your wedding anniversary. I wouldn't know what it means to hold your daughter as she takes the last breath she'll ever breathe.

But there's another side to this. There are so many people in my life that I have met as a direct result of my daughter's death. We have shared together, cried together. We've shared advice on how we got through that agonizing tragedy. We've shared our faith and our fears. Some I know personally, some I've only met on the telephone and through email. They have become trusted friends. They have shaped part of who I am today. Where would I be if I didn't know them?

Where would my faith be? I can honestly say it probably wouldn't be as strong as it is today if Melissa hadn't died. After all, it's when everything you have ever believed in and relied on is stripped away and faith is ALL YOU HAVE that you really learn what it means to rely on God and to truly believe in Him.

What would I be passionate about? When I worked at Channel 19, I served on many boards and volunteered my time to many worthy causes. But I wasn't passionate about them like I am about our NICU, premature infants and their families, and families who have lost children.

Now, time for me to be really honest. As amazing as all of things have been - those things that were a direct result of Melissa's death - I would still rather have her here with me. And I think any mother who has lost a child would say that.

However, five years later, I can claim Genesis 50:20 without any reservations - "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done...".

I can't change what happened to Melissa. But I can embrace what came out of it. The amazing people I've met, the strengthening of my faith and the purpose that God has given our family.

And not only can I embrace it, I can be thankful for it. I can be grateful that this journey, riddled with pain and tears and sadness, is also full of beauty and redemption and love.

No, those of us who have lost children can't go back and change the course of that terrible day we said goodbye. But we can keep moving forward, thanking God for the many blesses we've encountered as a result of what was intended to harm us.

And we can lean on each other, rely on each other, pray for each other, cry with each other and laugh with each other.

There's a reason we met on this journey. And I am grateful for every one of you.

Sweet Conversation

2011-01-31T21:34:00.003-06:00

At dinner tonight, Ann Catherine asked if Melissa goes to school in Heaven. As I usually do when I don't know the answer, I said, "I don't know. What do you think?"

"I think she does," she answered.

Then she said, "Mommy, when I'm at school I feel Melissa in my heart. But, sometimes I feel like she's right there next to me."

Chris and I just smiled at each other. There was a time that a sentence like that from my daughter concerning Melissa would have paralyzed me. But God is giving me strength and I could definitely feel it.

"She is with you," I told Ann Catherine. And that flowed into a sweet conversation where Lily Baker proceeded to tell us all that Jesus also lives in your heart. I was just waiting for her to ask how there's enough room in there for both Him and Melissa. That would be so Lily Baker :)

I'm so glad Ann Catherine feels Melissa's presence.

It's good to know I'm not alone :)

Goodbye Spelling

2011-01-29T20:11:00.003-06:00

Every parent does it.

Spelling words so you can have a conversation in front of your kids about something you don't want them to know.

Apparently, those days are over for us.

The other night at dinner, we were talking about signing AC up for T-ball. I said to Chris, "You should volunteer to help c-o-a-c-h. They're always looking for dads to help." I was spelling because Chris has a crazy schedule and I didn't know if it was something he could even do.

Ann Catherine immediately jumped up from her chair and said, "Yes, yes, Daddy! Please coach my team!"

Chris gives me that "are you kidding me" look to which I replied, "How was I supposed to know she can spell coach?!"

Oh spelling, we're going to miss you.

You've allowed us to have discussions in front of AC about Christmas and birthday gifts, whether we were going to a hockey game that night and whether this particular checkup had S-H-O-T-S or not.

We're going to miss you.

Where Were You?

2011-01-28T08:39:00.003-06:00

The question on the front page of our newspaper today was bold, yet simple.

"Where Were You?" it asked, with a picture of Space Shuttle Challenger exploding in the sky.

I remember where I was. I was in 7th grade sitting in class. I can't remember what class, but I want to say science for some reason. A teacher came to the door and told my teacher something about the shuttle. I don't remember if she said it had blown up or just that something had gone wrong.

They immediately moved us all to the library, where we sat in chairs and watched the coverage. I didn't really understand what was happening. Did the shuttle just explode? What happened to all of those astronauts on board? My 12-year-old mind knew it was bad, but couldn't come to grips with what it meant. It seemed surreal.

Then I turned around, and all of the teachers were at the back of the room crying. And I didn't really understand why.

I eventually would. A teacher was on board. Christa McAuliffe. A real ordinary person. Just like each of my teachers. She represented the best of what teaching had to offer. And she was gone - just like that.

When my mother picked me up, I learned there had also been a tragic shooting in my small town that day. The mother of one of my friends had been shot and killed. That just didn't happen where I grew up.

I remember going to bed that night with such a heavy sadness, and a lot of fear. It was probably the first time in my life I had been faced with so much sadness, so much tragedy, so much death really, in one day. My perfect world didn't seem so perfect anymore.

They call events like the Challenger explosion "flashbulb moments." Each generation has them. They are those experiences that had such a profound impact on you that years later, you remembered where you were when you found out. For my parents, it was the Kennedy assasination. They can tell you vividly where they were that day. For their parents, it was Pearl Harbor.

For my generation, it was the Challenger explosion. For the younger generation, it was no doubt 9/11.

I can also remember where I was when President Reagan was shot (Mrs. Mitchell's second-grade classroom. We watched the coverage on TV as soon as it happened). I remember where I was when Bear Bryant died (I was getting my books out of my locker after school when Mrs. Ray walked down the hall and said, "Bear Bryant just died.") There are those moments that you just don't forget.

9/11 was, by far, the scariest. Chris and I had just returned from the beach the night before and were tired so we slept in. Channel 19 employees were building a playground for a local daycare that morning and I didn't have to be there until 10 am. When I woke up, I didn't bother turning on the TV. As I showered, Chris came running in. His mother had called and told him what was happening.

I immediately got dressed and got into work. Jerry and I were on the air until the wee hours of the morning. Even though it was certainly a national story, we had so many local angles since we were home to Redstone Arsenal. There were rumors that we could be attacked. Every hour, we would do 15 minute local updates.

I remember in the middle of the night when Jerry and I left the set - the morning crew came in to relieve us - our news director called us all into the conference room and told us to go home and pack enough clothes for a week.

Why? Because at that time, we didn't know if another round of attacks was coming. I remember being so scared of what was going to come the next day.

Luckily, gratefully, that didn't happen. And just as my parents have told me about the Kennedy assasination, living in Birmingham during the Civil Rights movement and the turbulence of the 60s follwed by Watergate, I will tell my children these stories.

We pass down history to those who come after us. We may forget little details here and there, but we never forget the emotions we felt on those fateful days.

I kept my scripts from 9/11. I remember that night thinking, 'there is no way I can throw these away.' One day I'll show them to my children as proof of what we went through that day. That's what history is all about.

God rest the souls of the Challenger crew, as we remember them 25 years later.

Let Me Help, Daddy!

2011-01-25T21:56:00.003-06:00

Who says only little boys can help their daddies build stuff?

Yesterday, Chris was putting together a cabinet for our closet. As soon as LB noticed she asked if she could help. Chris said yes, she took off for the playroom, and came running back with her Handy Manny toolbox.

There is nothing cuter than watching a little girl in her dress, tights and pink headband using her tools to help her daddy put things together.

Gotta love a girl that can get her hands dirty!

Love It!

2011-01-23T21:49:00.001-06:00

I absolutely love Saturdays like we had yesterday. Not a thing on the calendar that we "have" to do.

I made a big breakfast for my family.

I watched princess movies with my girls.

Chris made chocolate-strawberry milkshakes with the girls.

I made cookies and we ate them. For lunch.

I drank coffee until 2 pm.

I stayed in my PJs until 3:30.

The four of us played Princess Yahtzee just before bedtime.

Absolutely awesome!

Wreaking Havoc and Raising Money!

2011-01-21T16:33:00.001-06:00

Another year, another great hockey game and a lot of money raised!!

Saturday, January 8th, was Melissa George Night at the Huntsville Havoc game.

I was just happy to be there. If you recall, last year I came down with a stomach virus about three hours before the game and I missed it. This year, Lily Baker was a little under the weather, but we were all there and accounted for!

All of the kids who swam on AC's Swim for Melissa team came this year and it was so much fun watching them have such a good time! We are so lucky to have such good friends that we can share this special night with.

As she does each year, AC dropped the puck with Chris. I tried to take LB out there too, but she didn't want to go. She tends to be a little more shy than AC. :)

During the second intermission, AC and her friend Alex competed in the three-legged race. And they won! We couldn't have been more shocked because when they first tied their legs together, they could barely walk. It was pretty funny!

After the game, we auctioned off the players' pink and blue jerseys. I wanted Mom and Dad to take the girls home because it was so late and LB didn't feel great, but the girls - along with the clandestine efforts of Jerry Hayes - found their way down to the ice anyway.

We let them stay for some of it. And I was so glad we did.

Mike Carter is AC's favorite player. When it came time to auction off his jersey, she joined him on the ice.

A VERY generous donor bought it...and then gave it to Ann Catherine! She was pumped!!! Can you tell how excited she was?! :)

Thanks to all of you who came and supported the game. And to those of you who purchased sticks and jerseys - or have in the past - thank you, thank you, thank you!!

We raised $31,400 in that one evening for Melissa's Fund. We'll use the money to buy another Giraffe Isolette and a Transport Ventilator.

In five years, this event has raised $245,000 for Melissa's Fund. We have purchased so much equipment for the NICU over the years because of this one event. I continue to say it - hockey fans have the biggest hearts!! Our sincere thanks to the Huntsville Havoc for partnering with us to make life better for premature babies and their families.

What a wonderful night!

Get Up and Try Again

2011-01-19T20:38:00.007-06:00

AC has been begging Chris to teach her to skate.

He took her last weekend to a public skate session and she had a blast. But later that night he told me there was no way he could teach her there. The ice was way too crowded with people and she got way too distracted.

She would need lessons.

There went my hope that I could save that money since my husband is a former hockey player and has been skating longer than he's been walking.

So we signed her up for lessons and she started last night.

She started out clinging to her teacher's arm. Thirty minutes into it, she had let go and was actually starting to get into it.

She came out midway through the class to use the restroom and told me she loved it and was having the best time.

I was so happy for her.

And then it happened.

Two minutes before class ended - TWO minutes! - she took a nasty spill and landed on her cheek. She cried but after composing herself she started skating some more.

Then class ended. And she saw me.

And she started wailing.

The poor thing was crying her eyes out and had a big 'ole raspberry on her cheek.

I loved her and held her. She kept crying.

Once we got home, I put some ice on it and gave her some Ibuprofen. I focused on the positives.

"You skated so good tonight!"

"You can do something Mommy can't do!"

"Except for the fall, what was your favorite part?"

Not falling, she probably thought.

Chris figured that was it. He thought she was going to be too scared to try again.

I wasn't so sure. But the thought of it broke my heart. Not because I want her to skate, but because she was so excited about learning and doing so well for her first lesson.

She woke up this morning and told me her cheek hurt. I gave her more Ibuprofen then she said, "Mommy, can I go ice skating Saturday?"

"You want to go?" I asked, somewhat surprised.

"Sure," she said, then ran to ask her daddy.

I told her I was so proud of her. I told her that life was a lot like ice skating. Sometimes you're going to fall. And it really hurts. But it's not about the fall. It's about whether you get back up or not and try again.

Looks like she's choosing to get back up. We'll see when her next lesson rolls around.

She's a tough cookie, that little girl.

Maybe at the next lesson we'll add a little padding.

And I'll be sure to pack the Ibuprofen. :)

Is it Time for This?

2011-01-17T20:18:00.001-06:00

I found this sign on Ann Catherine's bedroom door the other day.

Are we really there? Is it really time for her to start asking for privacy??

I can live with that on one condition.

I get some too.

Here's my offer: my girls can have some privacy when I am able to finally go to the bathroom alone. Without interruption.

Somehow I'm thinking that's not going to happen. :)

Snow Days!!

2011-01-16T15:17:00.002-06:00

The newspaper says the kind of snow we had this week comes around once in a generation.

Crazy to think about, isn't it?!

We had an entire week off from school thanks to Mother Nature. My kids loved it, but AC won't be loving it so much at the end of May when she's making those days up! :)

Snow Day - Part One

All of the hubbies were home and we got together with our neighborhood friends to play in the snow. Our friends Chris and Katherine have a golf cart and we tied our sled to the back of it and pulled the kids (and grown-ups!) through our neighborhood. LB was a little scared. AC, on the other hand, could not get enough!! I enjoyed it myself :)

Best of all, Chris broke out his "Cousin Eddie" hat (see "Christmas Vacation").

After the sledding, the golf cart was almost dead so we headed inside to Brooke's house. The kids got in dry clothes and warmed up while watching a movie. Sweet babies!

Then after their bellies were full, they headed back outside for more fun!

The best part for me on this snow day? Chris was off and I got to sleep in on a Monday. Woohoo!!

Snow Day - Part Two

Our friends Jammie and Ken built a snow ramp in their backyard and the kids slid down it. It was so cool!!

Then Mimi dropped by to say hello!

Snow Day - Part Three

By this day, we all needed a little break from the snow. AC invited over her friend Isabel and the girls played all afternoon. This is where I love my girls being so close in age, because the big girls were so nice to include LB. And believe me, LB was right in the middle of it all!

AC fixing Isabel's hair at the beauty salon Santa brought her :) And AC wearing a sundress inside - go figure!

Snow Day - Part Four

Cabin fever is setting in. We are on day four of school being out and certain people in our home are starting to get a little stir crazy (or maybe just one certain person is!) So I load up the girls and off we go to the library to check out some books and then to lunch. It was perfect.

When Chris got home from work he began sweeping the snow, or as he calls it, "the reason I left Canada."

Then they headed to the back yard with him and played.

They threw snowballs at me as I tried to snap pictures...

...while LB quickly got cold and headed inside to sit next to the gas logs (my kind of girl!)

I learned something about my kids this week. LB may be just like her daddy, but she is just like her mommy in one way. She goes outside and within minutes she's freezing and so over the snow. But I swear AC got Chris' Canadian genes. That child can stay outside in the cold forever!

Snow Day - Part Five

I decided I couldn't look at my messy house any longer! And I told the girls they were helping. They cleaned with me for two hours and when they finished, I let them paint (which they love to do!). I continued to clean for two more hours, and my house still wasn't where I wanted it to be. If we have another day like that, they might be begging me to let them go back to school!

Girls, I hope you enjoyed these snow days. The other night your daddy told me he doesn't remember ever being out of school for snow. Then I got "I remember walking to school backwards because the snow and wind was pelting us so hard" which totally reminded me of your Mimi and Poppy's "In my day we walked uphill both ways to school..." stories.

I have no such stories. But I'll always remember the week you got out of school for snow!

How Was Your Morning?

2011-01-06T19:56:00.008-06:00

I spent mine with Lily Baker wearing one of my old cocktail dresses and giving a tea party to her favorite animals.

Seriously. Does it get any better than that?!

I find myself often saying that when Lily Baker starts school full time, I'll have so much more time to do things. I'll work more, I'll rejoin a Bible study group, I'll start exercising again.

And then I have a morning like this one and I wonder, why in the world am I rushing this??!

Nothing - absolutely nothing - beats spending time with her. Because one day she'll decide that having tea parties in my old cocktail dresses won't be fun anymore.

And I'll miss that.

Back to School

2011-01-05T11:24:00.008-06:00

My girls were thrilled about going back to school this week!

And that's a good thing, because this mommy would have kept them home another week if I could have.

We are just at such a neat place right now. The girls are more self-sufficient and now that no one is napping (which I was dreading, by the way, because that was my "get stuff done" time) our schedule is so much more flexible.

They play so well together. Oh believe me, we still have our moments of "Mommy! Sissy won't let me...." or "Mommy! Sissy said...." but all in all, they are each other's best friend.

I loved our break. I loved that for once I threw away schedules and let the girls stay up later at night - and sleep later in the morning. I loved that we could do whatever we wanted. I loved that I didn't stress about what they were eating - after all, I told them, it's vacation!

But as it all came to a close, they were ready to go back and see their friends. AC, who had slept late (late being 8-8:30 ish) for the first time ever over this break popped up out of bed at 6:05 Tuesday morning! She couldn't wait to go back.

LB was miffed that she didn't go back until today. She was so ready to leave this morning!

Love that my girls love their schools. It so reinforces that they are both exactly where they need to be. And I love that they didn't go back to school kicking and screaming.

But I'll be looking forward to our next break :)

Our Havoc Commercial

2011-01-04T20:15:00.007-06:00

The commercial we shot last night began airing on Channel 19 tonight. We saw it during the six o'clock news and the girls made us rewind it at least 10 times!! I thought it turned out cute, but I must admit, I never realized Ann Catherine had such a southern accent! :) (By the way, could the way YouTube saved it below be any more unflattering??!)

Amy Mayfield with the Huntsville Times wrote a nice column about Melissa George Night in the Sunday edition of the Huntsville Times.To read it, click here.

Hope to see you Saturday night!

Best Day Ever!

2011-01-03T20:43:00.014-06:00

Those were Ann Catherine's exact words as we left the rink this evening.

We went to the VBC to shoot a promo with Channel 19 for this Saturday's Melissa George Night at the Huntsville Havoc game.

Four Havoc players were there: Ray Ortiz, Mike MacDonald, Dan McWhinney and Mike Carter. Those of you who read my blog last year know that Ann Catherine's first love was Travis Kauffeldt, who was the captain of the Havoc. When he left this season, she was heartbroken.

Mike Carter is now her favorite player and she was thrilled to see him!

For one part of the promo, Ann Catherine had to shoot the puck while Mike delivered his line. She LOVED getting to take shots at Dan and once they were finished shooting it, those sweet guys kept playing with her. I bet she shot the puck for 10-15 minutes.

She shoots...

She scores!!

Chris watching his girl play hockey with someone else. Sad day for this dad :)

LB's part was sweet. Mike MacDonald skated around with her while he delivered his line. It was precious!

Then she got in on the act and played hockey too!

At the end of the promo, AC had to get on top of Dan's shoulders to deliver her line. He's the tallest one, so she was pretty high but did great!

My girls had a blast playing on the ice with these guys. The guys were so sweet to them and kept showing them how to shoot the puck. The funniest part when she told Dan he was cheating! I asked her why and she said, "Because he won't let me score!" Chris and I laughed and explained to that he was just doing his job as a goalie! (Don't feel bad for her. He let her score several times!)

I'm telling you, sometimes hockey players get a bad rap, but you will never meet a sweeter bunch of guys. They were so good to my girls tonight. When I commented to Chris he said, "Well yeah. They're just kids at heart."

So true, because I married one.

Speaking of Melissa night, it's this Saturday night at 7:30 at the VBC Arena. Come out and watch the guys play the Mississippi Surge in their awesome pink and blue jerseys. After the game, they'll auction off those jerseys and their pink warm-up sticks with all proceeds benefiting Melissa's Fund.

We'll see you there!

My Prayer for 2011

2011-01-01T09:54:00.007-06:00

My sister emailed me a few weeks ago to tell me a friend from our hometown was battling Ovarian cancer. Then she texted me the other night to tell me her dad had been seriously injured in a car wreck. I wondered, 'How much can one family take?'

That same night I saw on the news that former local television reporter Susie Edwards had died from cancer.

I competed against Susie when I worked at Channel 19. That's back when Channel 19 and Channel 48 were locked in a fierce battle for number one. It was serious competition. Susie was one of those rare people who you could go head-to-head against in the field, and as soon as the cameras went off you could laugh about it. She was always funny, kind and gracious. I always enjoyed seeing her and being around her.

When Melissa died, she put aside that competition and sent me the kindest letter. That meant a lot to me.

I went to bed that night with such a heavy heart. There is just so much sorrow in the world.

Life - for all of it's wonderful, inspiring and exhilarating moments - is cruel.

Chris and I know that all too well.

One moment you're on top of the world, celebrating the ultrasound that just showed you were having two little girls.

The next moment you are signing your daughter's death certificate on your fifth wedding anniversary.

Since that day, I have battled fear. Fear that something would happen to the ones I love, especially Ann Catherine and Lily Baker.

It's a constant struggle for me. After all, I know how quickly you can lose someone you love.

I know all moms struggle with this to a degree, but it's so real for those of us who have held our children as they took their last breaths.

We don't love our children any more than other moms, but I do believe we hold onto them a little tighter.

I don't want to hold on so tight that I suffocate my them. I don't want to project my fear onto them. I want them to continue on this journey of life with a clean slate. Yes, they've learned about death earlier than most children. But Melissa's death doesn't have to define our family.

We've experienced so many joys too. Ann Catherine survived against the odds. Then God sent us the blessing of Lily Baker. And along the way, we're shared more laughs, snuggles, hugs and joy than I could have ever imagined.

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. You put too much pressure on yourself to stick with them, then you set yourself up for failure if you don't.

So instead, I have a prayer for 2011. A prayer that I can learn to live without fear. A prayer that I can live in the here and now, with the acceptance that I can't control the future. A prayer that I will trust God to protect our family and when/if something bad does happen, a prayer that I will trust Him to lead us through that too. A prayer that I will live everyday to be the best mother and wife I can be, and leave the rest up to God. A prayer that I can balance the loss of my daughter with the beauty of life that exists in my other two daughters. A prayer I won't worry about the things I have no control over. A prayer that I will focus instead on the life that lies ahead of our family.

A prayer that I will embrace life for what it is: an exhilarating, frustrating, joyous and maddening ride full of small bumps, massive potholes and amazing views on your way to the ultimate destination. I'm excited to take that ride, but I'm happy to let God do the driving.

And there's no one on Earth I'd rather ride along with than Chris, Ann Catherine and Lily Baker.

The Worst!

2010-12-30T16:18:00.005-06:00

I have dreaded this day since it first happened to Ann Catherine a year and a half ago.

And as it creeped closer, I have dreaded it even more.

Lily Baker's 4-year-old checkup.

If you have older children, you know the one.

The one with five vaccinations.

FIVE shots.

I have had lots of shots in my lifetime, but five at once?!

Yes, my children got lots of shots as babies but I could handle those. After all, they had no idea what was coming. Yes, it was sad, but when it was over it's not like they remembered it.

When they are older, it's a whole 'nother ballgame.

LB was such a trooper. AC had strep last week and had to get a shot, so she was a little worried that a trip to the doctor meant she was getting a shot. On the way into the clinic this morning she asked, "Mommy, will I get a shot?"

I knew I couldn't lie to her, but I also didn't want to freak her out before her appointment. So I just said, "We'll just have to see what the doctor says."

(At least I was prepared this time. When AC had her four-year-old checkup, I had no idea what was coming. But this time, I knew. I made sure to pack Ibuprofen, Lily's favorite drink - orange juice - her beloved Bunny and her Jesse doll. And I prayed a lot yesterday for my own sanity :)

So we went into the room and she had her checkup. Everything was great! LB is doing exactly what she should be doing at this age and has no health problems. Then the doctor left and I told her we would have to wait until the nurse came back. (I know the nurse and had already asked, "Are you fast?!")

So in she came and I said, "LB, I have to put you on the table" and she happily agreed. Unlike Ann Catherine, LB isn't at all afraid of going to the doctor and was happy to comply.

Then she saw the nurses laying out the five bandaids. And then she saw the needles.

"Are you going to give me a shot?" she asked with part sadness/part "I knew this was going to happen."

"I am," the nurse said, "but I'll be quick."

"Okay," LB answered sadly. She just sat there. No tears at all.

Had this been Ann Catherine, the wailing would have already begun. She would have screamed and cried and flailed her arms. It would have been all I could do to hold her.

LB did not shed a tear.

I laid her back and she said, "Mommy, will you hold my hands?" I said yes. She tucked her bunny under one arm and Jesse under the other, and just looked at me with the saddest eyes.

Then the needle went in.

And she wailed.

And as I held her hands and watched her cry, I promised her that when this was over I would take her ANYWHERE she wanted to go!

I remember when AC got her 4-year-old shots, she chose to go to Peggy Ann Bakery for cookies.

So I offered that to LB along with ice cream. Just name it and we'll go!

Her choice?

The library.

So we went to the big one downtown and we read all kinds of books. We picked out three for LB and took three home to AC.

I'm telling you, this child is my hero. I told her she was brave and she said, "No I'm not, Mommy! I cried!"

She's brave to me. Give me five shots, and you'll hear me screaming across town!

Our Best Gift Ever!!

2010-12-25T19:11:00.016-06:00

Chris was the first to wake up this morning. He immediately came back into the bedroom.

"The ground is white!" he said.

Chris is always messing with me so I said, "stop it" and rolled back over.

"No, really!" he said. So I hopped up. And sure enough, there it was.

When the kids woke up I said, "Before you go see what Santa left, look out the window."

They did. And they screamed. Especially my native Florida niece and nephew who only see snow on trips to Colorado.

Chris, who has never had a non-white Christmas, has a hard time understanding what the fuss is all about. I told him this morning when you grow up in the south, you go to bed each Christmas Eve praying for snow, only to wake up and see the dreary brown ground.

Finally we got a White Christmas!

So AC's bike...

...and beauty salon were a big hit!

And LB finally got her dollhouse!

She also loved her Tiana dress and Cinderella DVD.

But the white stuff outside? That was the best gift of all!

Chris pulled the girls on the sled,

AC pulled LB,

Ally and Will built snowmen,

and Chris taught AC and LB to throw some mean snowballs!

Don't eat the yellow snow!

At lunch today as we all said what we were thankful for, Chris said, "That my girls finally got to experience a Christmas like I did as a child."

A white Christmas - how wonderful!

Merry Christmas!

Our New Angels

2010-12-24T13:59:00.007-06:00

A few weeks ago, I was shopping with a friend for a family we had adopted for Christmas. We walked into Hallmark to see if we could find any devotional books for the mother, and that's when I saw it.

A book called "My Little Angel."

I picked it up and began to read it. And I began to cry.

It's about a little girl who has her very own angel. The angel goes with her wherever she goes. She plays with her and helps her when she's scared or sad.

And the best part? It came with a small angel that you could take out of the book and play with.

I knew, right then, that I had to buy it for Ann Catherine.

I brought it home and showed it to Chris and he said I had to buy one for Lily Baker, too. I did.

We didn't want the books to get lost in the hustle and bustle of Christmas Day, so Chris and I told the girls we had a gift for them to open today (Christmas Eve).

When they opened their books, Ann Catherine cried out, "Melissa!"

Then she hugged me and said, "Mommy, this is the most special gift I've ever been given."

And she meant it.

A few moments later, I found her in her bed with her angel. She was calling her Melissa and talking to her.

My prayer is that this precious angel helps my children as they come to terms with their sister - who she is and where she is.

Ann Catherine said she was going to take her everywhere she goes.

Which is appropriate, because she already does take Melissa everywhere she goes - in her heart.

Later in the evening, we attended Christmas Eve services at church and then came home to my parents' house. Ally and Will read the Christmas story for us, the grandkids put on their hilarious Christmas program (which they had been planning/practicing for two days) and then the grandchildren each opened one gift to hold them over until Christmas morning.

Our Christmas Eve message was called "Hope Alive" and was so appropriate for us. I hurt during this time of year because I miss Melissa so much, but I have hope thanks to the baby who was born all those years ago in Bethlehem. That hope sustains me during the hard times. How wonderful to have that kind of hope!

Merry Christmas to you all!

Close Cousins

2010-12-23T11:27:00.005-06:00

These four people could not love each other more.

My niece, Ally, and nephew, Will, are in town for Christmas. And, oh my, are my girls happy!

They especially love hanging out at Mimi and Poppy's house together, but my mom had lots of cooking to do for the holidays so I took them off of her hands Wednesday. We started out having lunch with Ann Catherine on her last day of school.

She was so proud to have Ally and Will there! Next, we picked up LB from her Christmas party at school and headed home. From there, Chris and I took them to the movie "Tangled" followed by dinner at a local favorite. Does it get any better??!

Chris and I took them all through the "Galaxy of Lights" at the Botanical Gardens Monday night. They were in the back of the SUV laughing and giggling and I proclamed to Chris, "See? This is why we need more children!"

To which he promptly told me whenever I get to feeling like that, I should just borrow someone else's children.

He is such a riot.

And then they all started arguing, and I kind of agreed with him. :)

If they could just stay like this forever...

This Christmas

2010-12-21T12:47:00.014-06:00

This will forever be known to me as 'the Christmas where Ann Catherine really started asking about Melissa.'

Not that she hadn't asked about her before. But this year, Christmas triggered it.

There are so many remembrances of Melissa this time of year. Her stocking on the mantle. The angel at the top of both of our Christmas trees.

It's been an extraordinary three weeks as I have tried my best to answer Ann Catherine's questions.

It all began the weekend of Thanksgiving when we decorated the house for Christmas. The girls love being part of that. First we put up their tree in the kitchen.

It has ornaments that either they have made (to quote my mother, the ones "you wouldn't take a million dollars for") or have been given to them by others.

I love how the ornaments all start low. Once the girls finish, Chris and I always "spread them out."

From there, "the stockings were hung by the chimney with care..."

"...with hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there!"

Next, we put up the "big" tree. Ornaments that hold the sweetest memories...

...hung by the tiniest of hands.

And as always, Chris held Ann Catherine as she put the angel at the top of the tree. My favorite part.

Everything on this tree represents a beautiful memory - memories that span from when Chris was a little boy to our children now. Ornaments given before Chris and I were married and ornaments made by these beautiful little people who we created.

And the angel at the top of the tree represents the most amazing memory of all - Melissa.

I'm sure that's a huge part of why Ann Catherine was full of questions this Christmas. So am I sometimes.

But I thank God for the memories that make it a little easier.

The Rainbow is an Angel

2010-12-19T21:24:00.005-06:00

I hope Melissa didn't mind sharing her title with Lily Baker. :)

Two weeks ago (yes, I am that behind) LB had her Christmas program. And it was her turn to be an angel.

That's what the three-year-old classes do. I remember when AC was one. I loved it.

And now it was LB's turn. Ann Catherine wanted to go so badly so we checked her out of school. Lily Baker was thrilled that she was there!

With her halo attached snugly to her head, LB and her fellow angels sang "Silent Night" and "Away in a Manger." Later in the program, they sang "Joy to the World", "Jingle Bells" and "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" with motions so deliberate I'm surprised a child didn't get knocked out.

Her daddy, Mimi and Poppy joined us to watch and then AC and I snuck up to the front to snap our pictures of the angel. It was a beautiful day.

And I realized how immensely blessed I am this season. I have a beautiful angel in Heaven and two dear angels on Earth. I am one blessed mommy.

Merry Christmas to all three of my angels!

The House that AC Built

2010-12-15T17:49:00.002-06:00

Let me just say this up front: I am not crafty.

God has given me certain gifts. Craftiness is not one of them.

Still Ann Catherine and I had a great time building our first Gingerbread House at the Botanical Gardens.

My friend, Brooke, and her daughter Annalyse went with us. The girls had a blast!

As if backing up my claim to NOT be the next Martha Stewart right on cue, our roof promptly fell. We added lots of icing and it held for a while, but by the time we got home, it had fallen again. We asked Chris to break out the super glue.

The other night a commercial came on showing a gingerbread house and I said, "Look Ann Catherine. A gingerbread house like ours!"

To which she replied, "Yes, except their roof didn't fall off."

The most challenging part for me had nothing to do with actually putting this gingerbread house together. It was giving up total control and letting AC do this exactly the way she wanted. She decided what went where. And I kept my mouth shut.

And now for our culinary masterpiece:

Before the roof fell off :)

Lilypalooza - Part Three

2010-12-13T20:42:00.001-06:00

I am so behind on blogging!!

It all started the week before Thanksgiving when we had Lily Baker's birthday party. Then we headed into Thanksgiving and then I had two big projects that I have spent every hour - that I was not with Chris and the girls - working on.

Now I'm trying to catch up! Let's start with Lilypalooza, Part three: the third and final installment of the birthday that lasted a whole month!

But what a sweet ending it was.

Over the last year, LB has really gotten into princesses. Belle is her favorite. She asked me if she could have a princess party this year. I loved it, but wasn't sure what to do because Chris and I swore off at-home birthday parties a couple of years ago.

I found out that Southerland Station hosted "tea party" birthday parties. Southerland Station is a gem in this city. If you have children and have never been, you need to check it out. It's a wonderful toy store and - best of all - it's local. The Metzger family is terrific. They live here and give back to this community. Each year at Miracle Bash they give us a wonderful silent auction item. They are great people!

They have a party room in back so we decided this was the place to do it. We sent out invitations from "Princess Lily Baker" asking her friends to attend her Royal Tea Party and to wear their favorite princess dress or tea party dress.

Oh. My. Word.

There is nothing sweeter than a room full of little girls dressed up as little princesses.

The party was wonderful! And best of all, SS did EVERYTHING! They provided petit fours and punch served in real cups from a punch bowl. Too sweet! They supplied it all, down to the party favors. They also played adorable games with the girls. Dress-up relay was quite hilarious! If you have a little girl who loves princesses and tea parties, I highly recommend having your party there!

As we left the house, I told Chris it was the first time I have ever driven to my child's birthday party with just my children and nothing else. How great is that?!

But the best part? LB was beside herself.

And that, my friends, is what it's all about. :)

More about Melissa

2010-12-06T20:27:00.003-06:00

Tonight during her prayers Ann Catherine said, "Dear God, thank you for Mommy, thank you for Daddy, and thank you for my twin sister who died, but who still loves me."

Wow.

Yes, God. Thank you for that.

What a Good Man!

2010-12-05T21:16:00.014-06:00

What kind of man goes to Disney on Ice on his birthday??

A man whose daughters are crazy about princesses and all things girly.

This was our second Disney on Ice. They have been our favorite of all of the travelling "kid events" we have attended. So going back to Disney on Ice was a given when we saw they were coming back to town.

But the fact that this one centered on the princesses?

Well, that was just the icing on the cake.

Before we headed to the show, we celebrated Chris' birthday at home. We baked his favorite cookies and the girls helped him open his presents.

Next we took Daddy out to dinner and then on to the show!

The girls loved it! AC loved it because she really wants to learn to ice skate. And LB? Let's just say the look on her face when Belle came out was priceless.

I looked at her during the Cinderella story. She was sitting in Chris' lap, with her hands folded under her chin. She was taking it all in with wide-eyed wonder.

And I thought to myself, I do hope my girls find their prince one day.

And here's some advice, girls. He doesn't always ride in on a white horse.

Sometimes he barrels in on skates with a hockey stick.

But he's your prince just the same.

Happy Birthday Chris! What a wonderful daddy and husband :)

Still Thinking About Her/My Ballerinas

2010-12-02T19:55:00.004-06:00

I don't know why, but Melissa continues to be on Ann Catherine's mind and heart.

Tonight as she colored while I cooked dinner she asked, "Mommy, what do you think Melissa is doing right now?"

I said I wasn't sure and Ann Catherine said she bet she was coloring too. It just came out of the blue.

Then when she prayed tonight she asked God to please give Melissa a good Christmas. Then she said, "To be honest God, I just love you. And I love Jesus. And I love my angel, Melissa. My special sister."

Don't you know that God loves to hear the simple, pure prayers of children?

I was on the receiving end of pure, simple joy this week. The dance studio where my girls take ballet and tap had visitor's week. We got to actually go in their classrooms and watch them dance.

How fun!

I took videos of them dancing, so most of my pictures are just them standing/sitting around looking sweet. But boy did they dance!

Talking to You about Her

2010-12-01T08:30:00.001-06:00

Dear Ann Catherine,
I'm writing this as part of my effort to document your journey of learning about Melissa. When you are grown, I want you to be able to look back and see the progression as you learned more about your twin sister: what she means to our family and what she means to you.

When you were a baby, I was so fearful of this time. I worried that once you began asking questions about Melissa I wouldn't have the right answers. But now that it's here, I relish talking with you about your sister. After all, she is as much a part of you as she is me. Maybe even more. There is something so incredibly special about talking to you about her.

This past Saturday night, the most beautiful thing happened. We spent the evening decorating the Christmas tree that belongs to you and Lily Baker. At bedtime, you asked your daddy to pick you up and carry you to the tree. When he did, you kissed the angel at the top of the tree and said, "Good night, Melissa," followed by the sweetest words I could ever hear you say:

"Sissy loves you."

Sissy loves you.

It was the first time I had ever heard you tell Melissa you loved her.

I stood there frozen. You walked over to me with a huge grin on your face and said, "What, Mama?"

"Nothing," I answered. "We all love Melissa, baby."

As long as I live, I'll never forget that special moment.

Sunday after church, you asked me when Melissa was coming back to Earth. That was a tough one as I explained to you that she wasn't coming back. She was in Heaven. You said you wished she could come back and I told you so did I. But I explained that she did come to Earth when she was born and I told you about how I held her in my arms.

Those conversations are always the hardest to explain.

Then, as He always does, God followed it with laughter. You and LB were outside "helping" Daddy put up the Christmas decorations. All of a sudden you came running inside shouting, "Mommy! Mommy!"

When you found me, you had a very pressing question.

"Mommy, will Melissa get more presents than me for Christmas this year?!"

I asked why you wanted to know and you answered, "Because she's in Heaven and there's a lot more people up there to give presents!"

I laughed out loud because only a 5-year-old would think that way. I told you that I didn't know about the presents, but I did know that Melissa would have an unbelievable Christmas celebration in Heaven.

May you never stop asking questions about her, Ann Catherine. And may God continue to give me the words to say to you. I miss Melissa so much this time of year, but it is so comforting to know that she's on your heart as well.

God is good.

Love,
Mommy

Upcoming Speaking Event

2010-11-29T00:59:00.007-06:00

If you live in the Huntsville area, I wanted to tell you about an upcoming speaking engagement. Thursday, December 9th and Friday, December 10th, I'll be speaking at Willowbrook Baptist Church's Christmas Celebration Dinner.

I'm so honored to be speaking at this event. I'll be sharing my testimony of how God has carried our family through this journey over the last five years. Yes, there is sadness, but lots of happiness too! My prayer is that it will touch someone's heart who needs to hear a story of love and redemption.

You can purchase your tickets online at www.winningwomentochrist.org. Deadline is Tuesday, November 30th - just like me to wait until the last minute to post this!

I hope to see you there. If not, please be praying for this event and that it will touch the hearts of those who attend.

And the Winner Is...

2010-11-22T08:54:00.000-06:00

CANDY!!!
(As chosen by random.org)

Congratulations, Candy! You are the lucky winner of a $30 credit to Mint Julep Monograms - just in time for the holidays. (I feel like that announcer on "The Price is Right!") Please email me at amysblog@comcast.net and I'll get you in touch with Hillary. Then you can just shop your heart out!

Thanks to all of you who entered. (And on a side note, to those of you who left sweet comments for me, you made my day. And believe me, I needed a little encouragement last week!) If you didn't win, it's still not too late to order something from Mint Julep Monograms. Hillary's last day to accept Christmas orders is December 3rd so don't wait too long!

Thanks for taking part my friends. That was fun!

Who's Feeling Lucky?

2010-11-16T20:57:00.011-06:00

Oh my word, I love free stuff!! Especially close to the holidays.

One of my lucky blog readers is in for a great early Christmas gift, thanks to my friend, Hillary.

A little backgroud here: Hillary and I first met nine or ten years ago (it all runs together these days :) We served together on the Board of Directors of the American Heart Association and hit it off immediately. She's a hoot! We ended up having kids around the same time and would run into each other from time to time. Then we found each other again in the blogosphere. She has one of the funniest blogs you'll ever read - The Other Mama.

Then, not too long ago, she apparently fell and hit her head because she decided to start a business while pregnant with her third child.

Crazy I tell you.

It has a deliciously Southern name - Mint Julep Monograms - and is an online monogram boutique. You'll find original gift ideas for babies, teachers, friends, family and all holiday needs. And according to Hillary, "She may or may not be drinking Mint Juleps while monogramming (okay- most likely not, but wouldn’t that be lovely?)."

Here's the best part - a lucky blog reader o' mine will win a $30 shop credit to be spent at Mint Julep Monograms! Just in time for the holidays!

Here's how you enter. Visit www.mintjulepmonograms.com, peruse the items, then leave a comment on my blog about your favorite item. The contest will run through Sunday night. I'll let random.org choose the winner and I'll post that person's name first thing Monday morning.

One more thing: only one entry per comment. However, if you'd like to be entered twice, join Mint Julep's Facebook fan page at www.facebook.com/mintjulepmonograms and leave me a comment letting me know about it. You'll also receive sales codes, discount info and info on clearance sale items.

So who on your Christmas list needs a cute monogrammed something this year?

Be sure to enter!! Happy Shopping and good luck!

My First Giveaway!

2010-11-16T09:25:00.003-06:00

I'm very excited. Tomorrow I'll be hosting my first blog giveaway!

I've never done it before because this blog is really just a scrapbook for my kids (because I'm not at all crafty!). But when a certain friend of mine who owns a certain awesome business asked me to host a giveaway, I couldn't say no!

The winner will receive credit to her store for a little Christmas shopping! Even though I'm still trying to get through LB's birthday, I know some of you have already started your Christmas shopping. Her site has some great gift ideas. You will love it!

So visit back tomorrow when my contest starts. And good luck!

Lilypalooza - Part Two

2010-11-15T21:42:00.018-06:00

My poor child was born the week of the Iron Bowl.

For those of you not from the state of Alabama, that's the equivalent of being born the week of Christmas.

She was born on a Tuesday (this was before they moved the Iron Bowl back to Thanksgiving week) and I told my OBGYN that if she came that weekend, my family wouldn't be there to meet her.

I was joking, of course.

Sort of :)

Oh to have a November birthday in a football crazy family in a football crazy state!

We held her first birthday party on a Saturday. Yes, Alabama was playing, but they were on the road. That ensured our family would be there. However, I distinctively remember the game being on during the party. Luckily she was one and didn't know the difference.

The second year we bypassed the whole football problem and held it on Thanksgiving weekend instead.

Last year, I had it on a Friday.

This year, Chris and I looked at the calendar and realized her birthday fell the day after Alabama played in Tuscaloosa.

What do to?

Move the family party to T-Town!

I called a Publix in Tuscaloosa, ordered her cake and we celebrated with our family Saturday afternoon since the Bama game was that night. She had a blast, especially because Ally & Will were there! Since they live in Florida, they can't usually come for LB's birthday because it's so close to Thanksgiving. So this worked out perfectly!

AC got LB a bumblebee pillow pet!! She's been asking for one since this summer :)

And Mimi and Poppy got AC the piggy pillow pet. She screamed so loud my sister's friend leaned over and said, "Whose birthday is it?!"

Ally gave LB the "Charlie Brown Christmas" DVD she's been begging for...

And Will gave her the Snow White Bakery...

...to go with the Cinderella castle that Mimi and Poppy gave her!

She played with it for hours! :)

The next morning we packed up and headed home where the four of us celebrated LB's birthday together at our house.

We gave her Belle's library (which went with the Cinderella castle and Snow White bakery she got in T-Town)...

Belle and the Beast figurines (LB screamed, "I finally got the beast!!")...

and the "Beauty and the Beast" DVD!

Then we turned the lights off, popped the DVD in and popped some popcorn, and watched our movie. I LOVE this movie, but had forgotten how scary the beast is at first. I kept saying, "Hold on, girls! I promise he becomes nice!" And he did. :)

You would think that's enough, wouldn't you? But wait, there's more!

The Friday before we headed to Tuscaloosa, LB celebrated her birthday at preschool with her friends. Chris and I took her favorite - "lellow" cupcakes - and her friends all sang to her while she wore the very stylish (and Statue of Liberty-looking) birthday hat!

Then she got to choose a gift from the Birthday box. Chris and I couldn't believe it when she pulled out...a Belle doll!! Her favorite princess!!

I'm going to tell you, this birthday may never end! Just one more party left on the 2010 Lilypalooza Tour - her actual birthday party with her friends. Woohoo!

Happy Birthday My Rainbow!

2010-11-14T20:05:00.008-06:00

(Photo courtesy of Simplicity by Christy)

This afternoon, at the exact time my third daughter entered the world four years ago, I turned and looked over my shoulder at her.

She was sleeping peacefully in her car seat after a busy weekend in Tuscaloosa. A far cry (pardon the pun) from how she entered the world. She had given her lungs a full workout during her introduction to that bright hospital room, and we knew she was okay.

On November 14th of that year, God gave me a second chance to be a mother - a chance I never thought possible after Melissa died. The thought of being pregnant again terrified me after all I had gone through with Melissa and Ann Catherine. Chris and I knew that we wanted Ann Catherine to have a sibling, but I wanted to adopt instead.

Then I did something that changed everything for me. I turned it over to God. Truly turned it over. I prayed that God would allow a child - boy, girl, didn't matter- to find its way to our family. I didn't care how. I didn't lay out my wishes or plans. I just asked that he would allow a beautiful soul to find its way to us.

A month after praying that prayer - and really meaning it - we found out that we were pregnant with Lily Baker.

And I was scared to death.

For the first six months of that pregnancy, I battled fear and was constantly waiting on the worst to happen. Just as it had to Melissa. Over the course of those nine months, God took me on a journey of faith like I had never experienced before.

And right on time, Lily Baker arrived. Beautiful - and most importantly - healthy. We never stepped foot inside the NICU. Instead, she stayed next to me in my hospital room. I couldn't believe it was happening. The child we had prayed so fervently for was here. And she was okay.

What would our life have been like without Lily Baker? I can't even imagine. She is the most precious and most maddening person I've ever known. Her world is so black and white, unlike mine which resides in shades of gray. She can be so stubborn that I want to scream and so sweet that it melts my heart.

But there is one thing I know without question about this little girl: she loves her mama. And oh boy, do I love her.

She is the rainbow that completed our family, the sunlight that overcame the darkness that had enveloped our family just 17 months earlier. She is the sister Ann Catherine so desparately needed and the healing her daddy and I so desperately prayed for.

Happy Birthday my Lilypalooza! I love you to the moon and back,

Mommy

Thank You Veterans

2010-11-12T10:08:00.013-06:00

Each year I have wanted to take my daughters to the Veteran's Day Parade.

But each year it's either been too cold or my kids have been sick.

Yesterday it all came together. 70 degree weather and my kids were healthy (save for the occasional runny nose). What are the odds?

My friend, Brooke, and I loaded up our girls and took them to the parade. And it was so much fun!

Just before it started, some people came down the route and handed out small American flags. Brooke and I taught the girls the "USA" chant - and oh my word - did they do it. Over. And over. And over again. If you stood anywhere near us, you might have been going crazy about thirty minutes in. :)

The funniest part was that at the end of each USA chant, Lily Baker would throw out a "Roll Tide Roll!!" The only parades my girls have been to are the Alabama homecoming parades so LB thinks that's what you yell at a parade! :)

We also told the girls that each time a group of veterans came by, to wave their American flags and say "thank you!" That was the most precious part of all. The looks on the faces of those men and women were so touching. One man looked like he was going to cry.

I think we live in a world where our veterans are so forgotten. And to see these little girls waving an American flag and saying, "thank you" just had to touch their hearts. It certainly did mine.

What a great opportunity to teach our children that freedom isn't free. That someone's son, daughter, daddy, or mommy sacrifices so much to make sure we are free. And safe.

Thank you to those of you who do, or have done, that!

Impromptu Tea Party

2010-11-09T21:55:00.007-06:00

And isn't that the best kind?!

Today a sweet friend gave my girls two beautiful dolls that her daughter no longer wanted. They were a huge hit at our house!

LB played with hers all morning and AC got hers as soon as she got home from school. As they began to play with them LB said, "I know! Let's have a tea party!"

So we pulled out their table and got out the "fine china" (aka - the porcelain Raggedy Ann tea party set that I am always afraid is going to get broken). I even broke out the animal crackers at four in the afternoon. I had four plates - one for each girl - but AC kept telling me that her doll didn't like animal crackers so she was eating them for her. I'm quite sure that was true :)

And they had a delightful time :)

Lilypalooza - Part One

2010-11-07T21:30:00.005-06:00

I write "Part One" because, God love her, this birthday is going to cover the whole month.

Lily Baker's birthday isn't until next week, but Chris' parents couldn't come then so they came this past week. We had birthday celebration #1!

After a great meal at one of our favorite restaurants, we came home and celebrated LB's birthday with a yummy cookie cake and lots of presents!(I'm bummed because most of my pictures looked fuzzy. I think my camera batteries were running down :( But here's sampling of what I did get.)

Next week we'll celebrate with my family and then LB will have her birthday party the next week. I can't believe my baby is turning four! I'm having a hard time with this one. Four just sounds so old. And she's the baby.

LB, on the other hand, is thrilled!

Greg McElroy Writes Children's Books??

2010-11-03T16:11:00.005-05:00

Ever since she started kindergarten, all Ann Catherine wants to do is play school.

And she's always the teacher. Always.

She'll grab a stack of books and "read" them to the class, which exists of a bunch of invisible people and sometimes Lily Baker, until she gets bored and leaves the room.

She apparently is mimicking her teacher when she reads because she always starts by reading the title of the book, followed by the name of the author and the illustrator.

Yesterday she was pretending she was the teacher to her invisible students while I was helping Lily Baker with something. Ann Catherine told her "class" the name of the book and then said,

"Written by Greg McElroy. Illustrated by Julio Jones."

I laughed out loud.

Do you think we watch too much football at our house??!

Going to Vote

2010-11-02T20:44:00.007-05:00

I love to vote. Always have.

It started when I was a little girl. My mother always took me to vote with her. My parents' business was just across the street from their polling place and she'd wait until I got out of school to vote. That was back in the day when you pulled the curtain and pulled the lever on your voting machine. I thought that was so cool.

Because of that, I also take my girls to vote. LB has been with me so many times the poll workers know her.

Now that I have children, I care even more about who's elected. I care who the president is. I care who the governor is. I care who sits on the city council. I care who represents my district on school board. I care who is making policy, whether it's in Washington, D.C. or Montgomery, that affects my family.

Chris' parents are in town and, for the life of her, Lily Baker could not understand why they weren't voting with us today. Chris' mom explained it was because she wasn't born in this country. Lily responded, "Well, I'm voting because I was born in this country." That made me laugh because I'm quite sure she's not sure what country she lives in.

So after we voted this morning, we ran some errands. We were eating at a local restaurant and a lady walked in with a "I voted" sticker. Lily Baker said, "Look, Mommy! That lady voted. She must live in the United States, too!"

Well, what do you know. She does know the name of her country. Hopefully, I'm raising a little girl who will also grow up to take her voting priviledge seriously. :)

Candy Galore!

2010-10-31T21:15:00.010-05:00

Could the weather tonight have been any better for trick or treating?

Not too cold, but just cool enough that you needed a jacket. Not too shabby for the last day of October.

This year Gammy and Gramps were in town for the first time during Halloween, so they got to see Super Girl and Belle at their finest!

The girls had an awesome time. We headed to our friend's house down the street for the annual Halloween party. The girls love getting to see their friends all dressed up. And of course, making cookies is always a hit.

Then we headed out for trick or treating!

There is nothing AC loves more than candy. So she had no problem running up to someone's house and asking for candy! Therefore, most of my pictures of her look like this!

LB wiped out three times in her sparkly red shoes. But, as my mom likes to say, "she's tough as a pine knot." She'd fall and get right back up. She was on a mission after all!

Once we got home, we sat on our front porch (yes, the weather was that nice!) and let the kids hand out candy. LB loved it so much that she went into our front yard and started yelling, "Hey! We've got candy! Come up here and get your candy!" Reminded me of the guys who sell popcorn and peanuts at stadiums. She LOVED handing out candy. I'm afraid next year she'll just forego trick or treating to hand out candy.

Hope you all had a great Halloween!

Just Wanted You to Know

2010-10-29T06:28:00.003-05:00

Dear Melissa,
Your daddy and I went to a beautiful dinner last night celebrating Huntsville Hospital Foundation. They showed a video where they interviewed people whose lives had been touched by foundation donations.

Two of those families had babies in our NICU in the last three years. As they told their stories, I grabbed your daddy's hand and gently cried. Both babies had been in Giraffe OmniBeds purchased by your fund, Melissa's Fund. Both of those families have now become friends of mine and advocates for the NICU and your fund.

Your daddy and I don't take one ounce of credit for the money we've raised through your fund. We know it's not about us, but about all of the people who have so generously supported the fund.

But, I do believe it's also about you. Had you not come into our lives, there would be no Melissa George Neonatal Memorial Fund. Had God not blessed us by making us your parents none of this would have happened.

I remember soon after you died being angry at God. How could He allow a mother to carry her child all of those months and then take her? It didn't make any sense to me.

But now, while I still hurt, I understand. Your life was about something bigger. At your memorial service your daddy said, "Some people go their whole life not knowing what their purpose is. Melissa knew her purpose."

At the time he said that, there was no Melissa's Fund. He was talking about the way you held on - defying the odds - inside of me those seven extra weeks, giving Ann Catherine a chance to live. Without your fight and your strength, not only would we have lost you, we would have also lost Ann Catherine.

And then your purpose grew into something bigger. I'm not prideful about that. I'm incredibly humbled.

As long as I live, I'll count it one of my greatest joys that God allowed me to be your mommy.

And I just wanted you to know.

By the way, Lily Baker's balloon from Red Robin accidentally flew out the window of the car yesterday. She was devastated. We told her it was going to see you.

It was "lellow," her favorite color. I hope you got it.

I love you to Heaven and back,

Mommy

Night of Carving

2010-10-27T20:36:00.018-05:00

Last night we had a celebration of sorts.

Ann Catherine got her first report card and I had one of those "how did we get here?" moments. I remember all those years of my mom signing my report card and now I'm the one doing it. I guess I really am a grown-up. :)

For getting all S's (S's not A's - remember those days?), I baked AC's favorite: chocolate chip cookies.

Chris also promised the girls that they could carve their pumpkins.

Let me tell you how this always goes down at our house.

AC is one of those people who gets super-excited about doing something and then three minutes in, she's done and moves onto something else.

Carving pumpkins is no exception.

And since she is SUCH A GIRL she was completely disgusted by pulling out the pumpkin guts. One time she actually gagged.

LB, on the other hand, was elbow deep in her pumpkin pulling out the guts. Now that's a girl who is not afraid to get her hands dirty!

Apparently the girls picked some pretty intricate designs. They eventually got bored and moved on while Chris worked away. For an hour. Maybe two.

I bathed them. Then they banged away on the piano...

...while Chris got serious and pulled out the...power tools??!

We ended up with a giant mess...

...and two rockin' pumpkins!!

And since they bailed on him, the girls put on their "I love Daddy" pajamas to show him their thanks :)

Super Girl and Belle

2010-10-27T15:57:00.004-05:00

The girls got to wear their Halloween costumes to a birthday party this weekend. I thought they looked pretty cute!

I'm taking bets on whether or not these costumes actually make it to Halloween!

Between the birthday party, dance class and school parties, I might be making a last minute purchase on target.com later this week!

Best Pile Ever

2010-10-24T21:10:00.014-05:00

Raking leaves is so overrated.

We have a ton of leaves in our backyard. Several times last week I grabbed the rake and proceeded to rake until my arms were tired. Each time it only resulted in a measly, paltry pile of leaves for my girls to jump in.

"Girls," I said one afternoon after raking my little pile, "what we REALLY need is for your Daddy to get his leaf blower and blow a big pile for you."

Today he did.

I came home from an afternoon meeting at church to the sounds of squeals and laughter in the backyard.

Chris was blowing the leaves...

...and in return, the girls got a huge pile to jump in!

We ended up with leaves all over us...

Then Daddy sucked the leaves up...

...and everyone was sad.

Except for Daddy, who finally got rid of those pesky leaves that keep blowing onto our back patio :)

A Hot, Sunny Fall

2010-10-23T15:38:00.018-05:00

There is something so strange about visiting a pumpkin patch when it's 80 degrees outside.

We have yet to have cool weather here. The leaves are changing - see my maple tree!

...but it doesn't really feel like fall yet.

Still, we took the girls on our annual fall trip to Tate Farms Friday after school. Instead of dressing them in their long sleeve Halloween shirts, I should have dressed them in short sleeves and shorts.

The highlight for LB was that her friend, Will, showed up at the same time as us. They rode together on the hayride...

...and I snapped this picture in the pumpkin patch.

He asked Chris if Lily Baker could come to his house and play and Chris asked him what his earning potential was.

My poor daughters.

We picked our pumpkins...

...then headed to the girls' favorite - the corn crib!

Next up, I said, "Let's visit the petting zoo" to which Ann Catherine answered, "Ewwww, it stinks in there!" Chris looked at me and said, "She is such your child."

We went anyway...

...and yes, it did stink in there.

Even so, it was a great day!

It's Time for Hockey!

2010-10-21T21:05:00.005-05:00

That scream you heard from my kitchen tonight??

It was from my girls when Chris told them our Huntsville Havoc hockey tickets came in the mail today.

You would have thought he had told them the Jonas Brothers were walking in the door. They squealed with delight, jumping up and down screaming.

AC is serious about her hockey. Tonight Chris was flipping through the channels and landed on ESPN showing football highlights.

"Daddy!" she said. "I don't want to watch football!"

"What do you want to watch?" I said.

"The NHL," she answered, I kid you not. "Put it on hockey, daddy."

She is not my child.

Speaking of my kids, LB and I made an impromptu trip to Red Robin for lunch today. We sat across from each other and played our usual game of "I Spy" while we waited on our food. As I watched her I said, "God, thank you for her."

My heart was so full of how much I love her, and that was just the best way I knew to sum it up.

Our food came, and she started eating her mac and cheese. She was eating like a champ.

In between shoving spoonfuls in her mouth she said, "Mommy, guess what?"

"What?" I asked.

"I love you," she said.

It wasn't sappy. She didn't say it sweetly or full of emotion like Ann Catherine would.

She said it so matter-of-factly, as if she was saying 'the sky is blue' or 'I'm 3-years-old.'

Because that's my Lily Baker. She means what she says and says what she means. No fanfare. No fireworks. Just "I love you" with a mouth full of mac and cheese.

Man, do I love her too.